#and the memories of what happened to Elizabeth keeping him company | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lizzie-queenofmeigas · 4 days ago

Text

Warnings: Incest.

Sarah stared at the god awful wallpaper that was all over the dining room. Rose chose it. She changed most things when she moved in. Her taste was terrible compared to her mother's. All the warmth in Tannyhill disappeared the moment Rose moved in. Sarah wanted it back. She wanted to make it her home again.

Their home.

They had money now, and Rafe had left her in charge to redecorate. Had given her a small portion of their cut to make Tannyhill more homely. The rest was either kept in a safe place or invested in something to get more money out of it. They wanted to keep their previous lifestyle, and for that they needed the money to keep coming. They invested in something safe, and not too much more than the minimum. They had to be smart about it.

Rafe had wanted to use some of it to pay the debts that were all over Cameron Development, but Ward had signed the company over to Rose. Some sort of revenge for their betrayal. It was almost better that way, so they could star over. Besides, with their share of the gold and Rafe starting the process to access the fund left to them by their mother they didn't need anything from Ward. The Redfields had been the richest family on Kildare, and their mother was the last of them so everything went to her. And now that she was dead, everything went to her children.

The only bad thing was that it was taking a little too long, they weren't supposed to have it until Rafe turned twenty-four. Because he was supposed to go to college. Well, he did go to college, but he dropped out the first year. Another thing Rafe didn't like to talk about.

There were so many things he didn't like to talk about.

Like what happened in the Bahamas. The kiss. When Rafe kissed her. When she liked it. They returned home and they didn't talk about it. The summer ended and they didn't talk about it. Christmas passed and they didn't talk about it. But Sarah couldn't stop thinking about it. Every time he kissed her forehead or her cheek, every time he smiled at her, every time he hugged her she thought about it. Did Rafe think about it too? Did that kiss haunted him as it her? Or had he forgotten about it?

No.

He hadn't, she knew that. They slept in the same room, the same bed, and sometimes he murmured her name in dreams. She probably did the same, all things considered. But that was wrong. It should disgust her. They were siblings, they couldn't be together that way. They couldn't. No matter how much she wanted it, or how much Rafe may want it. So maybe it was better if they never talk about it. If the kiss just stayed forever undiscussed.

It's for the best.

With a sigh, Sarah wrote down the word wallpaper on her list. It was a list of things to buy for the house. It was pretty long already.

"What about a bigger couch?" suggested Wheezie from the other side of the table "The one we have is too small for the three of us, and it's also kinda ugly"

"Yeah, a couch"

Wheezie wrote it down on her own list, with one of her glitter pens.

"I don't really remember how it used to be" she commented sadly "I was like four when Rose began changing everything. How did mom have everything? There isn't many pictures of the house before"

"There are some, but they're up in the attic" she put down her own pen "Mom had it all very homely, like one of those Christmas commercials" she smiled at the memory of the fireplace and the lush carpets all over the floors "There were pictures of mom's ancestors over the walls, pictures of the house in the past. We were always running around, she didn't mind, unlike Ward. She used to organize parties during the summer nights and had her clubs coming over in winter"

Elizabeth Redfield was a member of the high society of South Carolina. People in the Outer Banks fought to befriend her, to be part of her book club or her painting club.

"Sounds so cool"

"It was. I'm thinking of putting the old pictures back on the wall and pictures of mom too"

Rose took everything down the moment she became 'Mrs Cameron'. Every trace of Elizabeth Redfield. Rafe and her kept some pictures of her in their rooms, but most was up in the attic.

"That's a great idea" Rafe appeared in the room. She had to turn her head to look at him "Yeah, let's do that. I've been thinking about it myself. 'Bout mom's old room. I think I'm gonna move there"

Their mother's room, not Ward's and Rose's, but the main bedroom of Tannyhill. No one had used it since her death. Rose hadn't wanted to sleep where their mother used to, so Ward and her took another room. Now Rafe wanted that one. The biggest room in the house.

"Oh?" did that meant he wasn't going to sleep with her anymore.

"Don't worry, you can come in any time"

Sarah smiled and rolled her eyes. She probably would put part of her clothes on that wardrobe, it was the biggest one. Wait...was he suggesting to make it their room?

"You two are weird" Wheezie wrinkled her nose and picked up her phone "Tomorrow after class I'm going to Sandra's. We're celebrating the last year of middle school"

"Not sure why you're celebrating that, high school is a nightmare"

"I don't really remember high school" Rafe squeezed Sarah's shoulder "Anyway, I got shit to do. It's time for bed, Wheez"

Wheezie frowned "I'm not a child, Rafe. I can go to bed when I want to, I'm almost fourteen"

"No, you go to bed when your legal guardian tells you to. Go"

"Ugh. You're no fun anymore"

"That's so rude" Rafe's hand wrapped around her neck, not squeezing or pressing, just lingering there. Sarah's heartbeat raced. Why? It was just her brother showing his care for her "Wanna come to bed?"

Her eyes widened, did she hear right?

"What?"

"To sleep, Sarah" he smirked, lifting his hand from his grip around her neck "What else would it be? I'm gonna hit the shower"

Sarah did the same, taking a shower in her bedroom's bathroom. Not even the hot water seemed to be able to erase the tingle on her neck were Rafe had wrapped his hand around.

She should sleep in her bed tonight, should stay away from Rafe. She didn't. She went straight to his room, to his bed. Rafe was still in the shower, he usually took his time. Or, jerking off. He didn't sleep around anymore, not like before. He never brought girls to Tannyhill and he never stayed the night somewhere else. It had been a couple of months since he had sex. That she knew, at least. So he was definitely jerking off. And who was in his mind while he did it? Maybe her.

No.

No, not her. She was his sister. He wouldn't think about her. That was wrong.

Like the kiss?

Rafe smiled when he saw her, right after he left the bathroom. He was clothed. Thank God. He laid next to Sarah, and hugged her close to his chest. It was always so easy to sleep like that. So easy to sleep with him. It always had been.

Rafe drove her to high school. Not Kildare Academy, no, but the local high school. She had quit the Kook Academy before summer ended and enrolled into the local high school. It was better that way. The kooks kept on gossiping about Ward, about her family, and they wouldn't receive her with open arms. They chose Topper's side after the breakup. So she went to Pogue School (that was what the kooks called it), because at least there she had actual friends.

The situation with the Pogues was better now that they had the gold. Even with John B things weren't terrible. He still wanted to get back with her, according to Kie, but hadn't made a move yet. Sarah hoped he never did. She really didn't want to hurt his feelings again.

"See you later" Sarah kissed his cheek and left the car "Kie is coming later to the pool. Did I told you that already?"

"No. The pool, really? It's winter"

"It's hot" she shrugged.

"That's the global warming" Kie joined her at the gates of the school, standing by her side as she nodded towards Rafe "Hey, Rafe"

They were cordial now, more than before.

"Hey, Kie" he greeted back "Guess I'll pick you up after school then. Bye girls!"

A slight smile decorated Sarah's face while she watched him drive away.

"How was the weekend?" Kiara asked, intertwining their arms as they walked to the door "Mine was insane, I mean, my parents are constantly on my ass lately. I can't believe that after all of it, everything with the gold, they still think I'm lying to them. Can you believe that?"

Anna and Mike Carrera were known for disliking Kie's friendships, they had always criticized her decision to befriend JJ, John B and Pope. They only liked Sarah, but that was because she was a kook and they thought she was a good influence on Kie. She really wasn't, but they didn't need to know that.

"Not to judge your parents or anything, but they are kinda classist"

"Yeah..." Kie accepted a little deflated "I can believe that from my mom, 'cause you know, she has always been a kook. But my dad? He was a pogue. He grew up on the Cut. I don't understand how can he act like that with JJ and John B, and shit, even Pope. And it's Pope, you know? Everyone knows he's good"

Sarah nodded along to her words.

"Who's good?" Sarah jumped back when she heard JJ's voice "Me?"

Pope, John B and JJ were walking by their side now. Pope was carrying his backpack and books, while the other two were carrying absolutely nothing.

"You?" John B chuckled "Nah, must be Pope. No one would ever describe us as 'good"'

"Yeah, we are talking about Pope" Sarah nodded "Because honestly you two are what can be described as 'No good'"

"Rude, Miss Cameron"

He had been very angry at her, JJ, when she broke up with John B. He had been even more pissed when she told Rafe about the gold, but now they were cool again. Hell, he was cool with Rafe even. Mainly because Rafe and her helped John B and him to gain the emancipation. So one didn't have to go into the system and the other didn't have his father spending all his money.

"She's not wrong" Pope joked.

"Hey, guys, Kie is coming to Tannyhill later, you wanna come with us?"

"Oh, yes" JJ nodded earnestly "It's really fucking hot lately, I could do with a pool"

"The ocean is right there and it's free. That being said, I'm in too"

"It's Rafe cool with that?" John B shifted, stopping himself before crossing the door.

Sarah thought it was the fact that he stood witness to what happened to Peterkin, the reason John B was so uncomfortable with her brother. Pope and JJ didn't have that problem, nor did Kie. They came over to Tannyhill and spend the afternoons there, sometimes studying, sometimes doing other things. Rafe wasn't particularly bothered by them either, he was nice even. Hell, he even shared his whiskey with them sometimes. Well, he did once, and Pope proceeded to loudly declare he was never having whiskey again. JJ liked it though.

"He usually is"

"Never complains when we go to study. Not even when JJ drinks his whiskey" Pope commented " Are you going to stand there or...?"

"No, no. Let's go to class"

And if the other students whispered things about her father, Sarah pretended not to notice.

The Club was almost completely full at that time of the day. Which wasn't surprising, rich people loved brunches. Especially the trophy wives, they spend the whole they at the Island Club or shopping. Or that was what Rose did most of the times, even though she did have a job and a business of her own. Which was not really her own, but something that Ward gave to her when they were still having an affair. She did manage it, but not on her own. Rose's real estate business was in cahoots with Cameron Development. To no one's surprise. So yeah, she was a trophy wife. And not one who did useful stuff.

Not like his mother. Elizabeth Redfield was always organising galas and charity events. She liked to help people, to help the island. And sure, what she had had been handed to her, she was an heiress, but she still did the work. She still managed her money and gave it to good causes. Unlike Rose.

Rose only drank wine and bought stuff, like every other trophy wife on that damn island.

"You're being weird lately, man" Kelce sipped his margarita. He loved that shit "Like, seriously. I get that you have to step up now that your dad is in prison, but all of this? It's a little too much, man"

Rafe raised an eyebrow. Honestly, he didn't know what Kelce was talking about. It could be so many things.

"What do you mean?"

"Really? Man, I get that you're clean now, but...I mean, how long has it been since you got laid?"

Months.

Nothing since the summer. Since before doing what he did. Since before the crime. And it was not like he didn't have any opportunities, because he did. Especially since he got the the gold. He wished he could say it was part of his efforts to stay sober, but it wasn't. It was because it felt like cheating. It felt wrong, only the thought of sleeping with someone who wasn't—

"A while" he admitted with a nod before taking a bite of his fried eggs "It's one of the pillars of sobriety: celibacy"

He didn't know if it was, but it could be. So far he did more drinking and smoking and managing stuff to keep himself sober. And thinking about his sisters.

"Sucks to be you. Like I'm genuinely feeling sorry for you"

Rafe chuckled "Thanks, man"

He had known Kelce since They were kids. Their mother's were friends. Well, everyone was friends with his mother, and every parents wanted their children to be friends with the son of the Redfield heiress. But Rafe was a difficult child, or so people said. Most kids didn't want to stick around him. He was too creepy, they said, either too quiet or too prone to tantrums. Except for Kelce. Kelce didn't give a shit about how creepy he was. Kelce just wanted to play hide and seek. And then he just wanted to play basketball. And after that he just wanted to go to parties or chill near the pool.

He was a good friend.

"Anytime"

"How's it going with Scarlett? She's still not interested?"

"Oh, shut up" he smiled "She'll come around"

"If you say so"

"So this... celibacy thing, is it forever?"

God, he hoped not.

"No, no. Just until a few months" a year. Two. He had no fucking idea. Until Sarah— "Then I'll go back to normal. Minus the coke"

"Good. 'Cause I think you'll go insane if not, man"

Yeah, that was probably true.

"Guys?"

His eyes rolled on their own when he saw Topper approaching. He really wasn't in the mood to deal with Topper. He never was lately. Topper used to be so funny to him, so so funny. Now that he was sober, he wasn't funny anymore. Funny how that worked.

"Hey, Top" Kelce greeted him with a smile "Aren't you supposed to be in college?"

"Oh, I'm taking a year off to learn from my grandfather. Gonna be a judge, like him"

"Good for you, Top"

"Judges do make a lot of money" Rafe agreed.

If he got to be one. It wasn't a sure thing, those studies were pretty hard. Or so he heard. He wouldn't know by experience, his one year in college was mostly about parties and drugs. And waking up without remembering what went down last night. That happened a lot.

"How's Sarah doing? Enjoying Pogue School?" There was some mock to his question that Rafe decided to pay attention to "Can't imagine it'll be easy to get into a good college from there"

"Sarah is going to Chapel Hill, like Ward and our mother did"

Topper showed his palm "Didn't mean any offense by saying that"

Yes, you did.

"None taken" he smiled tensely. Be civil. Be civil "Bye, Topper"

Something flashed through his face, disappointment of some kind. Rafe didn't care. It took a lot for him to actually care at times, and Topper almost never got him to care.

"Dude, you didn't need to be that rude. What went down between you two anyway?"

What, indeed. Nothing really, he simply bothered Sarah and in turn bothered Rafe. Lie. And, in addition, maybe he was a little jealous. Jealous that he got to be with Sarah, while he didn't.

"Nothing. Life, I guess"

Kelce hummed, the look on his eyes told him he didn't believe him. Of course he didn't. He knew him too much.

After having lunch with Kelce, Rafe went to pick up Sarah and Kie. But it wasn't only them he was picking up, apparently. Thank fuck he got the truck for that, because the Pogues inmediatly got in. Sarah on the passenger seat, and the rest on the back. JJ sat on the floor of the car due to lack of seats. He sighed.

"What are you all doing?"

"Sarah said we could come with you to Tannyhill" Pope answered, slightly kicking JJ who was at his feet "Right?"

"It's hot, dude, almost like it's summer. You have a pool"

"That's the global warming"

"Yeah, you said that like twenty times already, Kie"

"We live by the fucking ocean"

"Pools are cooler" JJ smiled "That's why they are making me one in my house. I'm going full kook, people!"

JJ chose to stay in that shithole that he grew up in, bought it from his father and remodeled the whole place.

"Right, and can't you buy a car for yourself? You're the king of spending"

"I'm not!"

"You do keep buying dumb shit" Pope side-eyed him "Why haven't you bought a car?"

"I bought a new bike. You're the one who keeps telling me not to spend all at once!"

"You're telling me that none of you bought a fucking car?"

Weren't poor people supposed to be practical? They sure weren't.

"I had the Twinkie fixed and bought a bike"

"I'm saving it"

He turned his head to look at Pope, a little incredulous.

"All of it"

Pope just shrugged "College is expensive"

"Not that expensive"

"Most people who win the lottery end up losing everything for making bad decisions with the money. I'm not risking it. I'll keep the money safe and use it only when it's needed"

"Fair enough" Rafe looked out of the window. The people were leaving the school grounds while they bickered "Alright, JJ and John B, grab your bikes and meet us in Tannyhill"

The two pogues stared at each other.

"Yeah, that's probably for the best"

"Good idea"

It didn't take them long to reach Tannyhill, John B and JJ following after him.

The Pogues made themselves right at home, like they usually did. Shit they even had clothes there, Kie specially. He didn't mind. Not really. It reminded him of the time when his mother lived. When Tannyhill was a vibrant place full of life and people. A better time.

Rafe laid down on his hammock, the winter sun warming his skin. It didn't burn, not like the summer sun, though he didn't doubt Kiara was right about the global warming. He definitely needed to invest in something to help with that, once he got the money from the fund his mother left.

JJ took a dive into the pool, splashing water all over Sarah and Kie and almost Pope who was holding a book.

"Be careful!" he shouted.

"Fucking hell, JJ!" Kie wiped the water off her face before frowning and jumping into the water herself "Come here!"

He turned his head to Sarah who laid on her hammock, listening to whatever John B was saying.

Fucking John B.

Rafe's eyes seemed to have a life of their own that day, glancing at Sarah's body. That bikini looked great on her. And that was definitely something he shouldn't be thinking about. That was his little sister. He held her when she was a baby. He told her bedtime stories. He played with her. He shouldn't be looking at her chest go up and down, and he definitely shouldn't be letting his eyes fall to her cleavage.

He swallowed and turned to Pope.

"What are you reading?"

"Dune" Pope raised his eyes from the book "Is a sci-fi novel, pretty good. You should read it"

"Oh" he knew that book. His mother used to have it on her nightstand. Had to be somewhere in the attic "I just might"

JJ laughed, Kie was on top of him, trying to push his head underwater.

"You guys know anything about your dad?" Pope put his book down "Like, how he's doing in prison"

"Nah. He hasn't tried to call me, I'm not surprised by that. He hates me"

"He has tried to call me a couple of times" Sarah commented as if it was the most natural thing in the world "I don't pick it up. I don't wanna talk to him"

And she never told him. Ward was calling her and she never mentioned. His jaw clenched.

After the Pogues left, Sarah felt as if the house was colder. Not because they left, but because Rafe was suddenly so distant. He didn't even look at her.

Wheezie called and said she was staying the night at Sandra's and that only made her feel worse.

Rafe had retreated to the office, the one that was Ward's but now was Rafe's. And honestly, Sarah couldn't stand the silence. She couldn't stand how cold he was now. How did she ever deal with it before?

"Do you want to tell me what's wrong?" she closed her arms over the oversized shirt she wore over her bikini "You are cold and silent. That's not you, Rafe"

He looked up from whatever document he had been reading.

"Why didn't you tell me Ward was calling you?"

Was that it? Was he jealous of the attention their father paid to her? Again? It wasn't her fault. She didn't mean for it to happen. She broke their relationship (No, it wasn't her. It was Ward), but that wasn't enough. Tears prickled at the corner of her eyes. When will it be enough for him?

"This again? Are you once again blaming me because dad is a piece of shit?!"

Rafe growled, slamming the table and standing up. She jumped back.

"No! I'm pissed because you didn't tell me!" In tree strides he crossed the room, stopping when he was close to her. So close she had to crane her neck to look at his face. So close, she could feel the warmth coming from his body "I'm angry, because we are supposed to be in this together, but you are keeping secrets"

Sarah shook her head, trying to blink away the tears.

"I'm not keeping secrets"

"Then why didn't you tell me?!"

"I didn't think it was necessary. We don't really talk about everything"

"Don't we?"

Now or never.

"We don't talk about what happened in the Bahamas" she whispered "Do you wanna talk about that?"

"No. I don't wanna talk"

His hand closed around the back of her neck, like she was a misbehaving puppy, and her heart jumped. Sarah let him pull her closer. She let him kiss her.

#outer banks #obx #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #rafe cameron #sarah cameron #rafe cameron fanfiction #sarah cameron fanfic #rafe and sarah #rafe x sarah #shipcest #tw: incest

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missameliep · 1 month ago

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Title: Once Upon a Summer - Part 2

Book: Desire & Decorum AU Pairing: Prince Hamid x Elizabeth Foredale (OC)

Rating: Teen

Word count: ~5.2k

Summary: Once upon a summertime, eleven-year-old Elizabeth befriended a boy at a beach. Returning to England in a rush, she didn't even say goodbye to her friend Hamid, and had little hope to ever see him again. What would happen if fate brought them together four years later? This is how their story goes...

A/N: No warnings. Just fluff. Turkish words are translated in the notes in the end.

August, 2001.

From the airplane, Elizabeth’s eyes contemplated the lands bellow but fixed at the sight of the turquoise blue ocean. Her heart soared. Even in the company of her stepmother Henrietta, it seemed impossible to be unhappy in a dreamlike place like this.

Her father had once more kept the promise, and the 11-year-old girl was beyond excited.

Trying to reconcile work and vacation, it was Vincent's idea the family spent time at a resort at the Turkish Riviera while he attended business meetings at Istanbul, and later would join them at the weekend. Hopefully everything will go as planned. In his absence, there are plenty of activities to keep Elizabeth entertained and her stepmother off her back.

Despite planning to spend most of her time at the beach – which would be a lot, considering the expected daily 12 hours of sunlight –, she made sure to research about the history, touristic attractions, and culinary to have the best experience ever with her father and the boys. Her eagerness to share those details were met with similar enthusiasm only by her father. They bought a Travel guide and a Turkish phrase book for tourists and she read them during the flight, memorising the most helpful ones, like “thank you” and “please”, even though her stepmother insisted it was pointless since everybody at the resort must speak at least rudimentary English.

“It’d be rude if they didn’t,” she remarked at last, and huffed an exasperated breath when Elizabeth didn’t put the book away.

Fanning herself on the short walk to the car, but refusing to take off her white blazer, Henrietta exclaimed to Elizabeth’s and Harry’s amusement, “Of all places, Vincent sent us straight to this furnace... How can anyone survive in such a horrible place!”

On the drive from the airport to the resort, tired of the woman’s complains about the hot weather, Harry’s annoyance with the long hours travelled and Edmund’s sulking for some undisclosed reason she suspects might be a girl, Elizabeth put on the headphone and turned on the music on the mp3 player. Nely Furtado’s I’m like a bird starts playing and she smiles.

Rolling down the window, Elizabeth inhaled the sea salty breeze and closed her eyes for a moment.

The sea has always been Elizabeth’s happy place.

Her earliest childhood memories are from walking at Ipanema’s finest sand and building sandcastles by the water with her mother. Once or twice her father was in the picture, and her mother would be smiling at him. Growing up near the ocean turned it into a reference and going to the beach her favourite pastime. Whenever her feet touched the warm sand and her skin submerged into the cold Atlantic waters, life was good. At the beach it was easier to forget the burden of being a spare daughter of an Earl who lived across the world from her or feeling out of place, not British enough but not entirely Brazilian either.

When she was 9 years old, her mother announced they would move to England to be closer to her father, and she cried for two days until her eyelids were puffy and there were no more tears to shed. One could imagine her sadness was because she didn’t love her father nor wanted to be near him and her half-brother, but that was not the case; what truly saddened her was the fact the nearest beach was hours away of the county by car and the family didn’t fancy the sea like she did.

“My little mermaid”, her father called her then, understanding her concerns, and promised at least for a few weeks every summer they would travel to be close to the sea. And so far, he kept this promise.

Even if he could not keep the other promises made, or say no to his wife.

This year, Henrietta threatened to forbid the boys to come along if Elizabeth’s mother accompanied her, which everybody knew would mean cancelling the trip.

“Elizabeth is old enough to take care of herself, and you’re her father! Why is that woman even coming? Unless it’s for your enjoyment!” the woman shouted in her father's study at Edgewater, and he eventually yielded; Elizabeth wished he didn’t.

Being away from her mother in a foreign country, even for a few weeks, would be hard.

After the first days of glorious sun, the weekend came, but her father didn’t.

A week after their arrival and the second time he rescheduled his flight, Elizabeth was too tired of avoiding fights with Henrietta and the malicious remarks about her appearance and manners. If her presence was so unwelcome, why would the countess deny her any opportunity to enjoy herself getting to know the region outside the limits of the resort and its private beach?

“It’s your father’s duty, not mine,” the words were uttered with the intention to hurt her one morning during breakfast. “If he ever comes, he can take you wherever you want...”

Without a responsible adult, she couldn’t join most of the external activities; however, this minor detail wouldn’t stop her, like Briar remarked when they were chatting online that evening. Out of spite, she decided to venture on her own and visit some of the places she was eager to see, risking a punishment later.

Early in the morning, knowing Henrietta would spend the day at the hotel’s spa, she left a note at the desk saying she would be at the beach.

Backpack stuffed with her books, two water bottles, an apple and a few dates, Turkish bread and cheese collected from the breakfast table, the Mp3 player, she sneaked out of the resort to visit the city of Fethiye and the Lycian rock tombs. It would be an adventure.

It was a long walk to get to the city, but it was lovely seeing the beach and tourists outside the resort. At a small shop, she bought herself a pistachio ice-cream, then walked up hill to reach one of the famous tombs.

Reaching the top, the visitors were rewarded with an amazing view of the city. When she picked up the camera, for a moment, she wished Harry or Edmund had tagged along, but both hated waking up early and hot weather. Not to mention the risk of Harry ratting on her, even if unintentionally. She took a few pictures to show them later and drank the remaining water in one of the bottles, rushing to get away from the monument as soon as a few adults started questioning if she was alone.

The sun was high in the sky on the way down, and her stomach started growling. Reaching the main promenade, while looking for a place to sit down and eat, she was startled by a screeching sound right behind her.

Whirling around, she caught a glimpse of a young boy with a bright blue t-shirt riding a bicycle on the pavement right before he swerved to the right, almost running straight into her. Failing to redirect the bike, he collapsed a few metres ahead, right on the street. The traffic could not be called heavy, but wasn’t insignificant either, and it wouldn’t take long for a vehicle to get to him.

Her hand covered her mouth, muffling a panicked scream; and she ran to help him back on the pavement.

When she reached him, the boy, who was about her age, touched his knee, hissed and mumbled words in Turkish she couldn’t understand. There were no visible bruises in his face or arms, and it eased her a little. Her first instinct was to just grab him by the shoulders and pull him back, but she probably shouldn’t, even if she had the strenght to do it.

Heart hammering in her chest, the only words in Turkish she remembered from the pocketbook inside her backpack were “merhaba”[1] and “Türkçe bilmiyorum”[2], neither helpful in this situation.

Instead, she waved her hands. The first car swerved to avoid them, but the second coming in their direction managed to stop and halt the traffic in that lane.

“Get up before a car hit you,” she cried, and judging by his wide-eyed expression, he didn’t comprehend a word.

Regardless of the lack of understanding in his part, she kneeled and asked for permission to help him, slowly speaking in English everything she was doing, like picking up his bike to move it to the pavement, to give him time to get up on his own. When he remained frozen on the asphalt, with those big dark eyes staring at her like a deer before being hit by a car, she offered a hand. “Come on.”

By the time he got up by himself, a few passersby had rushed to check on him.

First, he thanked her in English. After he did, a smile curled his lips and dimpled his warm brown cheeks. It was bizarre to say the least that he’d smile after falling from the bike.

“You were so fast,” she cried, unable to control the volume of her voice or the pace of her heart. “Are you hurt? I was so scared a car would hit you!”

“I’m fine. Don’t worry,” he said, and motioned to the persons around them, indicating he was alright and they soon walked away, and the traffic resumed in the previously obstructed lane.

Turning around to face her, he spoke with accented but perfectly understandable English, “I got distracted for a second by the new ice-cream shop there. I love ice-cream.” He pointed at a store at the other side of the street. “Sorry for almost running you over. Are you hurt?”

“I’m okay. Just a little… startled.”

“I can see that. If I had money now, I would buy you an ice-cream. It always makes me feel better. I think it’s because babam1 always bought me one when I got hurt,” he sighed and leaned against the bike. “Do you like ice-cream? Because if you do, you’ll love bici bici[3]. Have you tried?” He spoke quickly, a melodic monologue, and she had no idea what bici bici was, and it somehow seemed a safer answer to simply shook her head.

Smiling at her, he offered a hand. “My name is Hamid.”

“Lizzy,” she told him the nickname her friends use, finding it more appropriate than the name she came to associate with etiquette and the Queen, and her smile vanished when she noticed his scrapped palms. “You’re hurt.”

He touched his hand with a thumb and clicked his tongue. “It’s just a scratch.”

“It’s bleeding.” Kneeling, she put her backpack down and took the remaining water bottle. “Sorry, I only have water,” she said and asked for one of his hands. She poured the water, letting it remove the dirty of the street.

While she focused on the task, Hamid kept looking at her, with an unabashed smile.

“Where are you from?” he asked, while she poured the water on his other hand.

“England.”

“No offense, but you don’t sound British”

She looked up and refrained from laughing.

“And how do they sound like?”

“Like this stuffy teacher I had in school,” he replied, and started speaking random words with a heavy accent like he were a Bond villain, and she supposed he was mimicking said teacher. “You’re lucky you don’t sound like that!”

“Not all Brits speak the same way, there are different dialects, you know…”

“I didn’t know that!” he admitted while looking at his palms. “Which dialect do you speak?”

She laughed. “Do you always ask so many questions?”

“I can’t help it, I’m very curious, and I love making new friends.”

The word friend was misused in her opinion, considering the fact he is a local boy and she is a tourist due to stay another 12 days, and they would never see each other again. But his expression was so welcoming, and the idea of having a friend – even if on a temporary arrangement – to go to the beach with and walk around the city sounded somehow appealing due to her current loneliness. And a much easier deal to a shy girl like herself since he was offering.

Hanging her backpack on one shoulder, she shoved her hands inside the pockets of her shorts and contemplated the idea of having a picnic.

“So, Hamid, before you attempted to trample me, I was going to have a snack,” she said softly, “if you’re not doing anything, I can share with you. It’s not much… but…”

“Sure!” Holding the handlebars of his blue bike without touching his palms, he started walking and called over his shoulder. “Come on, Lizzy, I know the perfect place.”

The boy was lively and cheerful, just a few inches taller than her. His skin was a tanned warm brown, much lighter than her mother’s, and his hair straight and black, with longer locks in the front that almost covered his dark expressive eyebrows. His eyes were also of a very dark shade of brown, almost black as his pupils. Like the pearls of her grandmother’s necklace, his teeth were perfectly lined and shiny, and whenever he smiled, two dimples formed on the sides of his face; Elizabeth thought that was a lovely thing.

Following him down a secondary street, she noticed several scratches in the bicycle’s painting, a scab in his elbow and a few healed scars on his knees, not to mention the thorn on the side of his black and white shorts. Perhaps, falling off his bike was not an unusual occurrence, and something kids in Türkiye and England have in common.

Hamid did most of the talking and asked several questions without barely giving her time to answer; most of them amused her, while she diverted every single one concerning her family or lodging details, obeying the security protocols taught ever since she came to England.

“How old are you, Liz?”

“11.”

“I’m 11 too! I’ll be twelve on December. When is your birthday?”

“July.”

“We’re here.” He vaguely gesticulated, and walked through lines of tables and chairs towards the entrance of colourful restaurants and a fish market.

Hamid was greeted by some of the waiters and men on their way.

“Do you like fish?” he asked her, and she nodded.

Then he sprinted towards an older man with grey hair and thick black eyebrows, who effusively greeted him. The boy kissed the man’s hand and touched it to his forehead, in what she assumed was a sign of respect to the elderly. Smiling, they talked for a while, and the man nodded towards her, huffled his hair and they gesticulated, calling another man inside the restaurant. When both men disappeared inside, Hamid leaned his bike against the wall of the restaurant and ran back to where she was watching the scene with curiosity.

Walking ahead, he guided her to one of the tables.

“We can have what you brought, and something that I’ll bring.”

“I thought you didn’t have any money.”

“I don’t.”

She smiled and nodded to the direction the man had been standing a moment before. “Is that your father?”

“No, babam is at Istanbul. Working. Annem is there with him. That one over there is Cemal Bey, he’s a good friend of Dedem and his wife is the best cook in the country... Please don’t tell Hala Fatma I said that,” he said in a conspiratorial tone.

“And people will just give you food?”

“Sometimes, if I ask them nicely. And I told my English friend wanted to try the best Turkish food in the country… few people resist being complimented like that.”

“Clever.”

The tip of his tongue peeked between his teeth when he smiled at her. “But I admit Cemal Bey being a good friend of Dedem and knowing me since I was a baby helped.”

She chuckled and took the snacks from her backpack, under Hamid’s attentive supervision.

“I was expecting something like crisps and Doritos...”

“Disappointed?”

“A little,” he replied with a frown. “If you have any candy, I beg you share with me. Halam won’t let me eat anything that isn’t healthy!”

Elizabeth chuckled and offered him a date. “This is the sweetest thing I’ve got with me...”

Sighing, he accepted it with a sorrowful look, and she smiled.

“Dedem and Fatma, who are they?”

“Dedem is grandfather,” he said gnawing on a date. “Hala Fatma is babam’s younger sister, my aunt. I’m staying with her and my cousins this month.”

They shared the bread and cheese; and despite her initial protest, Hamid poured some olive oil on a piece of bread and made her try it. When she did, she hummed in delight and asked some more cheese. “That’s too good! I could eat my weight in this cheese...”

While she took another bite of the bread, Hamid’s expression turned serious.

“I need to ask: are you a runaway girl?”

“Excuse me?” she asked, almost chocking on the bread. “Why would you think that?”

“I just watched X-Men, and you being here alone in a city you’ve never been before with a backpack gives me major Rogue vibes…”

“I’m just sightseeing,” she shrugged his concern, “not escaping my mutant powers or anything really.”

“You never mentioned your family…” He lowered his voice, so only she could hear him, “If you’re in trouble, there are good people here who can help.”

“I’m fine. Really. Dad is at Istanbul working. Like yours. And mum couldn’t come to this trip…” she paused and refrained from sharing with a strange boy the dramas of her family. “So, I’m staying at a hotel with my stepmother and my brothers.”

“Hmmm… I see… evil stepmother!”

“I never said that!”

“You didn’t deny it either,” he pointed out with a mischievous grin. "What about the brothers? Are they as jealous as Cinderella’s sisters?”

“Harry can be jealous at times,” she laughed covering her mouth with a hand, and looked away. “They’re okay. We get along well, but they don’t fancy going to the beach as much as I do… or being outside when it’s hot. Edmund got sunburned on our second day here.”

“What a bummer...”

“He’s better now, but refuses to leave his room... And with the pretence of keeping him company, Harry stays with Edmund... So, they play videogames day and night!”

“You don’t like videogames?”

“I like videogames; what I don’t get it is why would anyone prefer any game over this?” She waved both hands in a circle around them. “It’s such a perfect day for an adventure! I love the salty sea breeze! Just this morning I walked around the city, and not only had the best pistachio ice-cream ever but was taught about some place called Antep and the story of this man’s family and pistachio. Okay, I didn’t understand most of what he was saying but it was amazing anyway. And when I said Teşekkür ederim[3] he explained that was too formal and taught me Sağ olun[4]. Did I say it correctly?”

“Yes, perfectly. I can teach you words too.”

“Then I went uphill, saw these ruins and –”

“What about meeting me?” with a mocking pout, he asked.

“Usually near accidents are not my favourite parts of any trip.”

“Near is better than actual accidents.”

“You’re right,” she laughed.

“And what’s still missing on your perfect day list?”

She hummed in consideration and her eyes flicked in the direction of the marina, even though they couldn’t see the boats from where they were seated.

“I wanted to go in one of those boats and spend the day at the sea, visiting the islands, but Henrietta gets seasick – or so she says it. And Edmund keeps saying we should wait for dad, or something terrible might happen because we’re kids, the world is a terrible place, and we’ll probably be stranded at sea…or drown. Basically, something horrible will happen.”

“Wow! That’s –” Hamid paused, searching for a word and settled with “disturbing...”

Cemal bey called Hamid, who sprinted to get a plate with breaded fish, chips, garlic sauce and the biggest olives she’s ever seen. They ate in silence, and Hamid kept gazing at her for some reason. An ear-to-ear grin on his face.

“Do I have something on my face?” He shook his head, but she kept wiping her mouth and chin with a napkin, just in case.

Hamid picked the chips with his fingers and tucked into his mouth, and she did the same.

If her grandmother saw her eating this much in public and using her hands, there would be a lot of chiding. For a moment, she hesitated, her hand hovered over the fork, but then she considered how far from home she is and the advantages of being unknown here. Grinning, she used her hands again. The chips tasted even better while disregarding etiquette.

After the meal, Hamid offered to take her back to the hotel, which she decline since she having so much fun with him; since he didn’t need to go home before sunset, they decided to walk around some more.

Sitting on his bike, he patted the tube and offered a lift and to carry her backpack, even though it was much lighter without the water and food. Putting her backpack on his back, she took the offered seat.

Chatting all the while, they rode for several minutes until arriving at the marina, where he locked his bike to a lamp pole at the entrance.

“Race you there,” Hamid shouted from over his shoulder, already sprinting at full speed.

“That’s unfair,” she cried back, running after him, “I don’t even know where we’re going!”

She caught up to him, or maybe he let her get closer and they ran side by side until the middle of the marina, to a point where sailboats and yachts were on either side of them. It wasn’t bustling as earlier hours of the days, and few people were working on boats, cleaning them or just walking around.

Hamid indicated an empty spot, and they sat down, letting their feet dangle from the edge and above the water. She looked around with a wide smile, following with her eyes the seagulls flying close to one of the boats, trying to steal someone's lunch.

“I’d love to spend time at the sea, to travel for many days and see many ports... How exciting it must be! Imagine all one could learn. The languages. And the food. I could get something from each place, a treasure, to remind me later from all I’ve seen...”

“Like a pirate?”

“No, not like a pirate!”

“Why not? They have cool clothes and songs.”

“I couldn’t be a criminal!” she laughed.

“We could be pirates together!”

He jumped to his feet with a roar, twirled and climbed into a boat. “Ahoy! Pull the anchor!” he said with his best pirate impression, one eye closed and a hand cutting the air in rapid movements. “Let’s trouble the water. Avast ye! And sail against the tides!”

Elizabeth laughed and he extended his hand, inviting her to climb it too.

“Hamid, we can’t do that...” She looked around for anybody who could be watching them. “We could get in trouble...”

“Don’t worry. It’s Dedem’s boat.”

He offered a hand and helped her get into the boat. They walked to the bow pretending to be on a pirate ship. The deck gentle swaying beneath their feet as they staged a mock sword fight.

“Dedem always took me and my cousins with him to the sea,” Hamid said later, when they sat down by the railings to watch the seagulls fighting over food, “and he taught us to sail and fish. Babam and Amca Ozan would join us too, if they were not working...”

They watched the boats returning to the marina, spoke about movies and Hamid shared many stories of his family and his five sisters.

“Five sisters?” she asked, “For real?”

“Is it really the strangest thing?”

“That was rude. Sorry.”

“You apologise a lot,” he remarked, “Why’s that?”

She pondered at the question for a moment, not knowing what to say, and just shrugged.

Hamid didn’t ask anything else about it, and the conversation shifted to other topics. Whenever he asked about the hotel her family was staying, she diverted and talked about something else. The last thing she needed was Henrietta coming to spoil their fun.

Leaning against the railing, Hamid pointed at all his favourite places, even if it was impossible to see some of them from the boat.

“Let’s go,” he said and pulled her by the hand.

A moment later they were back on the bike. Speeding up, the breeze blew their hair, and she laughed; when they reached the beach, Hamid plopped down the sand, breathless and with beads of sweat between his brows, tip of his nose and over his lips.

“Hey! I bet I can beat you to that rock,” she dared.

He used one hand to shield his eyes from the sun and look at her, “Can’t you see? I’m dead.”

“Afraid of losing?”

“You pedal next time then,” he muttered.

“Deal.”

Disrobing to her bathing suit, she sprinted to the water, skipping waves; Hamid removed only his t-shirt to follow her and cursed when the salty seawater caused his bruises to sting, and she couldn’t stifle a laugh.

She got to the rock first and helped him climb it to sit beside her.

When the sun started its descent to the sea, the sky turned pink like her favourite roses at Edgewater’s garden, and the clouds looming over the horizon were painted in gold. It was beautiful sight, but also a reminder she lost track of time. She must return to the hotel before it gets too dark.

“I should go.”

Elizabeth hopped to the shore and put on the shorts and t-shirt, and picked up the backpack.

“Liz,” he called behind her, shortening her nickname, and wiped the water from his eyes. “Can we meet tomorrow? I can bring Faiza’s bike, and we ride together.”

She nodded and they agreed to meet at 9 o’clock sharp at that same place. Putting on the sneakers, she ran towards the pavement, but spared a last look over her shoulder. Hamid waved at her, a wide smile curling his lips while his gaze followed her.

In the end, meeting Hamid turned out to be her favourite part of the day.

September, 2005.

Loud as flocks of parakeets at sunset, the buzz of students going out of the sports court dimmed down the closer she got to the library.

Away from the noise and prying eyes, Elizabeth fished the mobile from the backpack, and almost dropped it to the ground, only then realizing her hands were shaking. Her heart was not doing any better, beating as fast as if she’d been running. She sat on the ground, under an old tree and leaned her back against the rough trunk. The crown of the tree shadowed that part of the grass and the breeze was cool, soothing the redness of her face.

When she managed to make the call, Briar barely said “hi” and Elizabeth started ranting.

“Can you believe this? He thinks I’m cute but doesn’t remember me! At all!” she repeated, and Briar squealed.

“Briar!” Elizabeth cried.

“Wait! He thinks you’re cute? How do you know? Who told you?”

“He did when he came to talk to me after the game. He called me gorgeous or something... I wasn’t paying attention –”

Briar let an even higher-pitched squeal, and Elizabeth moved the mobile away from her ear.

“He came to you and said that? I’m dying! That’s even better!”

“How’s that better?”

“I don’t know. Did you tell him who you are?”

“I – No! I freaked out!” Elizabeth rubbed her eyes with her free hand. “I assumed he knew. Like why else would he be looking at me during the game or come to talk to me?”

“Because he thinks you’re gorgeous, silly!” she said in a sing-song voice.

“I’m mortified. I was super casual with him... How could he not know? I look the same!”

“You certainly do not. Your hair looks amazing now without any of those stripy pink highlights --”

“It was red.”

“It was so not!” Briar snorted with laughter, “I'm grateful now my mother forbade me to dye my hair when I asked!”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes at the remark. Her hair is definitely styled better now, and the rainbow coloured highlights from those days remained only in the pictures.

“It's been 4 years, innit? You lost quite a few pounds, you can fill a bikini top now in case you haven’t noticed. And you two met in a total different country! Don’t forget that, Lizzy.”

Elizabeth’s eagerness to rebuke died down a little. It’s has been a long time. Her chin tilted up to look at a bird chirping at the bough of the tree and she sighed.

“I just thought that friendship was special to both of us. I had zero trouble reconizing him.”

“In his defense, you’ve been secretly crushing on him for 4 years –”

“I was not crushing!”

“Are we lying to each other now? I know you keep pictures of him on your drawer –”

“Those are souvenirs from the trip! And I’m on some of those pictures too. And so are Ed and Harry.”

“I'm just saying it isn’t that weird he didn't reconize you...”

“I suppose...” she replied, her tone too despondent.

“You can still be sad or disappointed...”

“But I should be happy, right? He's here.”

“I would, if I were you.” Elizabeth could picture Briar's genuine smile even without seeing her face. “Even more so if the boy I was crushing thought I was gorgeous!”

“Stop it,” Elizabeth pleaded, covering a warm cheek with a hand.

Briar laughed loudly, then whispered on the phone, “You can finally see if this idealised version of a boy you met years ago stands the test of time…”

“What do you mean?”

“You never consider dating anyone because boys can't compete with him, now you have him so you can either date him or move on.”

Elizabeth sighed, and it carried all the exhaustion just the persons closest to her knew about.

“I don't think so... You know I have more important matters to focus. I can't get distracted by boys. Not now.”

“But don't you think you deserve a break from all that crap? Some happiness? I believe you do. And the universe seems to agree with me. Or it wouldn't just throw him back to you, woult it?”

Elizabeth listened to her friend while observing other students, two girls rushed with hands intertwined, smiling at each other.

“You’re living at the same country and are old enough to actually fall in love and date. Just enjoy it. Tell him. Don’t tell him. It's your choice. But you should get to know him now, maybe you'll be running away from him after a ten minutes conversation because he's grown-up to become a wanker.”

“You’re right,” Elizabeth said, her words coated by a chuckle. “And if he's still the same, we can be friends again.”

“Oh, my god! It just crossed my mind now how perfect this whole story will be to tell in your wedding! –”

“Wedding?” Elizabeth echoed, but Briar didn’t even acknowledge her words, still rambling about the pictures in her drawer.

“– the pictures! We need copies. Tons of copies. Just in case. Childhood friends. Lovely!” Briar was speaking quickly and incessantly.

“I’m fifteen!” Elizabeth protested, “We talked once. And I kind of run away...”

“Next time, you stay, Lizzy.”

Notes:

[1] merhaba – means “hello”

[2] Türkçe bilmiyorum – translates as “I don’t speak Turkish.”

[3] bici bici – it’s a dessert, typical of southern Turkey and the Mediterranean region, especially consumed in the summer. Bici bici is prepared with crushed ice, starch, and syrup.

[4] Teşekkür ederim – translates as “thank you”

[5] Sağ olun – it’s an informal way of saying “thank you”

#desire and decorum #desire & decorum #prince hamid #prince hamid x mc #desire & decorum AU #choices fanfic #hamid x elizabeth

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martyredlove · 3 months ago

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SUPERNATURAL REC FEST (@spnficrecfest) Day 5 - Rarepairs

Mostly Dean-pairing-centric fics, featuring: Female!Dean, Benny, OMC, OFC, Lisa/Jessica, and uhhh Captain America x2? Enjoy!

never so adored you by 8sword (dean x steve rogers) rated T — word count: 12,758

"I'm hungry," Steve says honestly. "Looks like you are, too."

Take Off Your Coat, Cap, and Stay Awhile by 8sword (dean x steve rogers) rated M — word count: 2,688

In the kitchen, Steve washes his hands at the sink and grabs a peeler to start helping Dean with vegetables. Dean protests, "Dude, no" and hip-checks him away from the counter. "You're a guest."

Notes: i first came across this pairing while searching for stanford era dean fics and i realized that... i was really into this concept. i think i've read every single fic for this pairing lol but these two are my favs <3

The Heart Has No Bones by foundwanders (dean x omc + dean x ofc) rated E — word count: 13,763

With Sam at Stanford and John on a case of his own, Dean goes on the hunt for a creature that leaves loved ones without the memories of its victims. He doesn't manage to find the monster but in the meantime he does manage to meet an attractive young woman. Dean spends the night with her, but the next day he discovers that it's her brother he is is most attracted to. However, hunters don't stay in one place for long, and with no case to keep him in town, Dean can only imagine what could have happened between them. Almost a decade later, in another town in another state, Sam and Dean find themselves on a case that seems familiar to Dean. When he sees a familiar face, he thinks it can't be a coincidence.

Notes: really enjoyed the original male character to my detriment bc now no one else writes about him </3. i just love the idea of someday down the line, dean and sam running into trouble with the law and crossing paths again with will helping them out!

(Every Heart is a Package) Tangled Up in Knots Someone Else Tied by cherie_morte (Lisa x Jessica) rated G — word count: 2,664

Heaven, it turns out, is nothing but an eternity of waiting. But at least the company is good.

Rocking away the waves by worldturtling (dean x benny) rated E — word count: 4,898

Elizabeth asks Dean to find Benny.

You Are Dean Winchester in 2014 by crowleyshouseplant (dean x female!dean)

You're in a car with a beautiful you and it's the end of the world.

Notes: spn poetry based off of You are Jeff by Richard Siken <3

#spnficrecfest #spn #when i said they were insane i didn't mean like in a good way i meant in a captain america x dean winchester way #although i do also have other actually insane fic recs that i might post later. maybe <3

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teecupangel · 22 days ago

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Hi, it's me again the one who came back to the fandom recently and has a lot of feelings

I have a specific AU in my head that dosn't go away

Context: are you familiar with the prototype series? Alex Mercer and stuff? Alex is the virus who thinks of himself as the doctor Mercer in the start (sorry for the shit paragraph)

AU: Desmond is now an Eden Piece (some Isu bullshit happened and now he is a Eden Piece ) and because the piece consumes Desmond's memories (or leak of them) they think now they're Desmond Miles (who is dead) and try to live his life as Desmond.

So because of Animus bullshit, Desmond doesn't have many things left but he knows Shaun and Rebecca, then he will hunt these two down because he wants to stay with them, he feels lonely and doesn't understand the world very well (maybe deeply he knows he is not the true Desmond, but he can play pretend for a while because the company)

Shaun and Rebecca accept "Desmond"with tears in eyes, hugs and promises of all being together now. Everyone is happy until "Clay" shows up

That Clay is not exactly their Clay, but they're also as "Desmond" an Eden Piece. EP!Clay actually knows more than EP!Desmond and try to alert them about the Isus, because Eden Pieces are used to control the humans and serve the Isu and EP!Desmond just runway

While this happens, the two humans (Shaun and Rebecca) are trying to calm Layla down, but the girl just makes the canon choices and she dies (sorry Layla, I like you, you looks funny but you need to die girl for the sake of this shit, you need to die) but this time everything is worse because Eden Pieces

The truth comes to the light and the humans still decide to keep EP!Desmond and EP!Clay as friends... Until...

...after all this stupid shit show Layla comes back as Eden Piece... Honestly, Shaun and Rebecca should just retire at this point, go to some cottage live in the rural zone at the United Kingdom and leave all those freeks there... eat some warm soup, drink tea, feed the goose and sheep. Just ... They don't want to work with the possibility of finding an EP!Lucy someday, just give up and live a calm and rural life with zero technology (Shaun and Rebecca I like you guys, pls don't hate me, I feel really sorry for it but all your friends are now replacement for some alien version of them...)

I am quite familiar with the Prototype series XD

This is quite interesting and it reminds me of the movie Invasion of the Body Snatchers.

Let’s mess things up a bit. Instead of basing it on Alex Mercer, let’s based this on Elizabeth Greene’s version of the virus.

Desmond is our ‘red herring’. The supposed Alex Mercer type in the story.

But the truth is he’s just the first of the ‘children’ being reborn as one that is both human and a Piece of Eden.

A device that had a connection to both the Grey and whatever Piece of Eden was used to create the Animus. That connection is what made that device be able to copy and recreate the data into a state the being was in before its death.

Becoming a Piece of Eden in the process is more of a… necessary ‘sacrifice’ to keep the production going without losing all resources.

Now, this does beg the question who our actual Elizabeth is. The ‘patient zero’.

Desmond Miles.

To be more exact, EP!Desmond is a failure because he was not able to be set in the same state as he was when he died which wasn’t when he was Desmond Miles but when he was the Reader.

This program was meant to return the Reader to a corporeal body to fix the world after he learned how to fix it.

That’s why Clay was the next one to be ‘reborn’. The device assumed that Clay would be capable of remembering the plan that the Reader made but that… went sideways because it’s not Clay’s memories. Clay does have the plan in his head but it’s jumbled together with the rest of the information (mindscrew) that Juno gave him before his first death.

Layla was the device’s Hail Mary. To be more exact, the device waited for Layla to die (it had no hand on her death, that’s an entire different thing that was half-orchestrated by Loki and his mistress and half-‘shit went down because we were too busy to actually support Layla’) because the next one to be reborn isn’t the Layla who died BUT the Layla who joined the Reader in trying to figure out how to save the world.

And unfortunately for the device, this Layla also suffered from those missing memories.

Because both the Reader and the Heir aren’t exactly human by the time they were to be reborn.

And now…

The device needs to figure out which one could (1) hold the Reader’s memories of the plan and (2) still be human.

The device’s next child?

The easy way out is that it’s one of Desmond’s ancestors with Altaïr being the easiest choice because his time with the Apple would make the transition to being a Piece of Eden easier.

The hard “let’s fuck with Desmond” choice?

Subject 4: Daniel Cross.

#assassin's creed #ask and answer #teecup writes/has a plot #fic idea: assassin's creed #desmond miles #clay kaczmarek #layla hassan #rebecca crane #shaun hastings

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spam-monster · 1 year ago

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FNAF movie theories; official trailer edition

(Edit: have been informed that CC/Golden Freddy’s name is actually Garrett, will use in future posts but am too lazy to change so Evan = Garrett)

Pt 1: Characters/Protagonists

- Mike is indeed Michael Afton with some sort of trauma/memory loss

- Trauma came from watching his little brother (calling him Evan even though that’s unofficial) die from the bite of (insert year here), and then possibly watching his dad kill the other kids?

-- for simplicity’s sake, I’m guessing the other four kids were the ones present at Evan’s b-day party who didn’t stop him from getting killed (unclear yet if it was Mike’s fault as in the games)

- After that Mike ended up running away from his dad and getting taken in by another family; Abby is either:

-- His actual biological sister who he took with him when he escaped (Elizabeth Afton who never became Circus Baby in this version, unclear how much she remembers as she would have been very young at the time)

-- The equivalent to Charlotte and his adopted sister (assuming Henry Emily took him in and changed their names for protection, and that Charlotte didn’t die in this version)

-- An animatronic/hallucination that’s been following him this whole time (less likely; the murders are said to have happened years ago and someone would have noticed by then that he was hallucinating or that Abby didn’t grow older)

- The little brother/crying child/Evan is possessing Golden Freddy, and also the kid we see in the car during Mike’s dream. This adds to the “Abby is their biological sister” theory, because it would make sense for her to trust Evan/Golden Freddy because they’re siblings.

Pt 2: Antagonists

- Vanessa is being manipulated by William Afton; it’s unclear if she knows he’s the murderer and sympathizes with him for some reason, or if she’s a pawn being fed false information about the animatronic’s real goals.

- In either case, the animatronics do not want Abby to become one of them, they are trying to protect her from the security guards and show her what really happened to them.

- William assumed a new name and is hiring security guards for Freddy’s for an unknown purpose; most likely to keep the animatronics in and everyone else out.

- William probably wants Mike and Abby to die there as well, either because he blames them for Evan’s death (or Mike at least), he wants them to stay and keep Evan company, or he wants his family to be immortalized forever as unchanging robots. (Unclear if the remnant/immortality thing will be relevant)

Pt 3: Plot and extras

- Movie will take lore elements from the first four games, especially the minigames/8-bit cutscenes.

- Unsure at this point if Henry and Charlotte/The Puppet are in this movie at all but it would be neat if they were.

- In the end Mike will atone for his actions by freeing the children’s souls with Abby and Evan’s help, William will go there in person to try and stop him and end up spring-trapped.

- Sequel hooks:

-- Springtrap is Not Quite Dead and wants revenge.

-- (Going off the “Abby is not Elizabeth/his biological sister” version) Mike finds evidence that his sister is trapped in another location; cue Circus Baby.

-- Mike finds out that their mother might have been put in an animatronic as well; cue Ballora and Sister Location.

-- Cut to present day/future date; someone finds Springtrap burried in rubble and Mike gets ready to fight him again.

Bonus: We won’t get (a bunch of) actual Youtuber cameos, but there will be pics/voice clips/shout-outs to them as easter eggs for fans.

#fnaf #fnaf movie #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's movie #fnaf theory #mike schmidt #michael afton #william afton

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tenebraevesper · 1 year ago

Text

Five Nights at Freddy's: Salvaged, Night 3: Visit The Past

''I wanna go back to when the screams were real, and beautiful terror is what I wanna feel, dripping over me like a long lost memory. I wanna go back to when the nights were red, mechanized agony and trouble in my head. It wasn't good, and I don't feel bad – those five nights were the best I've ever had!''

– Go Back by MandoPony (Five Nights at Freddy's)

xXxXxXx

It was late at night when Sam and Springtrap finally returned to Sam's home. Springtrap noticed that it was rather secluded, the closest neighbours being away about a five minute walk. Further behind the house was a forest. While Sam was taking out her house keys, Springtrap finally decided to ask her something that had been bothering him for a while.

''What about your parents? Don't you think they would freak out when they see a robotic bunny in their house?''

''I think we can worry about that later,'' Sam said as she opened the door and turned the lights on in the hallway. ''My parents are divorced and I live with my mum.''

''Though luck, I guess,'' Springtrap muttered, feeling apprehensive.

''It's not that bad,'' Sam replied, locking the door behind him. ''They just figured out that their relationship won't work out, agreed to divorce and remained on good terms. Most divorces I heard about usually end up in a mess.''

''True…'' Springtrap frowned, only half-listening to Sam. He could still remember the distraught face of a woman who looked completely enraged and dejected.

''I can't stand this anymore, William!'' she yelled at him. ''You've been locking yourself in your workplace for weeks, barely coming home. Your work will destroy you!''

''I don't see any problem with this. This is what I do for living. Don't you understand what I'm doing for my family?''

''For your family, or for yourself?'' she asked in an accusing tone. ''Face it, you're being obsessed with those animatronics. Even Henry-''

''Leave Henry out of this!''

The woman recoiled when her husband suddenly shouted at her. She knew that there were moments when he would look at her and their children as if they were strangers to him. He never showed any aggressive behavior, but there was something in his gaze that scared her. However, she had no proof that there was a monster sleeping inside him, waiting to be unleashed.

''Sometimes, I just think you're not the man you're trying be,'' she said, shuddering. She winced as he walked past her. There was never physical violence between them and every fight they had ended in complete silence. He never really raised his voice, but whenever he spoke, he could see that she feared that he would lash out at her. This was not his intention. All he cared about was to go back to his workshop and work on the robots that became his new family.

Days later, he found an empty closet and a letter that told him how she didn't want to be with him anymore and that she wanted to divorce him. Surprisingly, when the topic of the custody over the children came up, it was decided that Elizabeth, Sammy and Michael would stay with their father. After that, he never heard of his wife again.

They should've stayed in her custody. Although, whether what happened could've been prevented, I don't know.

''Springtrap?''

He looked down Sam, who gave him a curious look.

''I just was remembering something,'' he replied. ''So, what do your parents do?''

''Mum owns a second-hand store. She tends to travel around, buy stuff, refurbish it and sell it. Her friend from high-school works in the store as well, watching over it when she is away. That also means that I'm often home alone,'' Sam said briskly. ''Dad works at a video game development company. He sometimes lets me beta test some of their games, as long as I keep my mouth shut and don't spoil anything.''

''I guess your mother isn't currently at home,'' Springtrap said as he looked around.

''I think she'll be back in a few days, and until then, I need to come up with a good excuse about why you're here, as I doubt that revealing your true identity will do us any good,'' Sam said. ''I have to warn you, though. She's scary good at finding out about stuff you'd rather keep a secret. Once she gives you that gaze, you'll start confessing to things you didn't even know about.''

She shuddered.

''I'll keep that in mind,'' Springtrap said, wondering whether Sam was exaggerating things.

''Anyways, you can have a look around,'' Sam said, going towards the stairs. ''I'll be back soon.''

As she sprinted upstairs, Springtrap took a peek at the living room, drawn to the photos on the wall. They showed him what appeared to be Sam when she was a little girl, as well as her parents, all smiling happily at the camera. Another photo showed an older Sam, blowing out the candles on her 7th birthday. Another one showed her caught while playing a game, laughing happily as she probably won against her father. A smaller one showed her hugging her mother in the park, with autumn leaves falling around them.

An empty feeling spread through Springtrap's chest as he looked away from the photos. He didn't understand why he felt like this. There was always that feeling of misery and grief, and no matter what he did, it would not go away. Even when he showed joy during a murder, it was only brief and it was soon replaced by the emptiness he usually felt. However, an attempt to make himself feel better was certainly no excuse nor justification for his actions.

''Hey, Springtrap!'' He lift his head, looking at Sam, now having changed into her PJs. ''Since it's late now, I figured we could talk about this in the morning. You can stay in the guest room for the night.'' He kept silent as he followed her upstairs, with Sam pointing at the doors. ''This is the guest room and the one next it is mine. The one down the corridor is Mum's bedroom and across it is the bathroom.''

Springtrap looked curiously at the poster on the door that led to Sam's room. It was an image of a white bunny who was lying in a basket, with the sentence ''Stay away – I'm sleeping''.

''Yeah, I might need to change that,'' Sam muttered and then opened the door to the guest room. It looked rather cozy, having a bed in the corner and a couch underneath the window. Across the bed was a small cabinet. ''Anyways, I'll see you in the morning then. Good night!''

''Good night,'' Springtrap replied, watching her as she left and hearing the door to her room close. He looked around the room, feeling that the situation wasn't that bad and it was surely better than being stuck in that office.

However, his current state came with a little problem – boredom. One of the things he had discovered when he got trapped inside the springlock suit was that he had no need to sleep, therefore leaving him with nothing to do during the night, unless you could count him pacing around in the sealed safe room as doing something. He didn't want to sneak around the house while Sam was asleep either, although he felt that it was strange that she was fine with having a serial killer stay at her home.

He sighed as he sat on the couch, recalling his conversation with Sam, wondering whether he really should've accepted her help. He knew that she was right when she said that he was broken. He knew that he also had to do something about those hallucinations he had, before they cause him to have a complete mental breakdown or make him do something he would regret.

He lied down on the couch, looking through the window at the night sky as he thought about Henry. He wondered what his old friend would think about his decision. Would he even accept the idea of William trying to atone for what he did? He knew that Henry considered him his friend, but after his stunt with the Missing Children Incident and their encounter at Fazbear's Fright, it became clear that Henry had given up all hope on William and all he wanted to do was to personally take him down.

''And to you monsters trapped in the corridors, be still and give up your spirits. They don't belong to you. For most of you, I believe there is peace and perhaps more, waiting for you after the smoke clears. Although, for one of you, the darkest pit of Hell has opened to swallow you whole, so don't keep the Devil waiting, old friend.''

Springtrap frowned, remembering the fire and his futile attempts of escaping the maze. Even the fire at Fazbear's Fright wasn't as bad as this inferno.

''It's time to rest; for you, and for those you have carried into your arms. This ends for all of us. End communication.''

''Apparently, it wasn't the end of communication,'' Springtrap muttered, his eyes flaring purple. ''The story isn't over yet, old friend.''

xXx

Sam rolled over in her bed, half-awake and eyes still closed as she attempted to continue to sleep. She was aware that it was morning, but she felt that it was way too early. Still, sleepy, she reached for her phone on the nightstand, only for her fingers to brush against something soft. She opened her eyes and screamed.

''Springtrap!''

She got up, having found herself staring back at Springtrap, who was crouching right next to her bed, looking eager.

''Are you awake?'' he asked nonchalantly.

''I usually sleep til 10 when I don't have school and it's…'' she reached for her smartphone, ''7 AM?'' She groaned, lying back on her bed. Springtrap stood up, still looking at her. ''How long have you been watching me?''

''Since sunrise,'' he replied. ''My soul is animating this animatronic suit, so there is no need for me to rest.''

Sam sighed.

''Okay, I'll be up soon. You can go ahead.''

Springtrap exited the room, but instead of going downstairs, he waited in front of the closed door. Minutes passed and Sam wasn't coming out, and there was also no sound coming from the room either. Wondering whether something happened, Springtrap slowly opened the door, peeking inside the room. He frowned when he saw that Sam was fast asleep.

Thinking about how to get her to wake up, his eyes flared purple. He walked over to Sam, who seemed to be blissfully unaware of what was going to happen next.

''SCREEEEAAAAAGHH!''

''Aaagh!'' Sam jumped out of her bed while covering her ears, now wide awake. She stared at Springtrap in disbelief, who was laughing.

''Are you awake now?'' he asked as he saw her expression. Sam sighed.

''Yeah, I am.''

xXx

A little while later, Sam, who had changed into her daily outfit, was sitting at the table in the kitchen, with a bowl of cereal in front of her. She switched between glancing at the notifications on her smartphone and glaring at Springtrap, who was sitting across her.

''You brought it upon yourself,'' Springtrap said. ''What else did you expect that would happen when you brought me here?''

''Okay, you got a point. However I really could've done without you screeching into my ears,'' Sam replied and yawned. ''Anyways, it would've been creepier if you were in that withered springlock suit.''

''I was, at least when I woke up,'' Springtrap said, glancing at his hand. ''Until the animatronic glitched out… or maybe I was hallucinating the whole thing.''

''I guess that, whatever brought you back here, seems to love messing with you,'' Sam said, with Springtrap looking annoyed. ''I guess that what matters is that you're back.''

''I always come back,'' Springtrap said, his eyes glowing in a soft purple. He sounded quite confident, although something did bother him. I always come back, but, at what cost?

''I can only imagine how frustrated those who know you feel,'' Sam said, as if reading his mind. ''I went to Fazbear's Fright once, several days before it got burned down.''

''Really? I thought that the place wasn't even supposed to be open until the week after,'' Springtrap said.

''Let's just say that I have a habit of exploring places I'm not supposed to be at. You saw me yesterday,'' Sam said, with Springtrap wanting to tell her that, technically, he was the one who dragged her inside Freddy's, but decided to keep silent. ''Anyways, I didn't get to go inside because the night guard chased me away.''

''I suppose that was a good thing. If you went inside, you would never come out,'' Springtrap said, his eyes flaring purple, looking menacing.

''I am aware of that,'' Sam said in a deadpan tone. ''I saw you there.''

Springtrap looked surprised. ''Really?''

''Yeah, but I didn't think much of it. Now that I'm more familiar with what happened, I'm glad I stayed away from that place,'' Sam said. ''Anyways, who even was the night guard during the week before the fire?''

''He-'' Springtrap wondered why she would ask him that, having a bad feeling about this. He vividly remembered what happened during the last night he spent at Fazbear's Fright. He managed to reach the office, looking through the glass window at the man he never thought he would see again. The flames had already engulfed half of the building, but at this point, he didn't feel anything except for the desire to confront the one who had been messing with him all those past nights. ''He was my old partner, Henry Emily.''

He saw Sam's eyes widening, as if she had already anticipated this answer. The expression she had was that of someone captivated by a story, wanting to know all the details. Springtrap wondered whether he even wanted to deal with that, only to remembered that he had already agreed to this.

''So, how did this whole thing with Freddy's started?'' Sam asked.

''I thought that you already knew about it,'' Springtrap replied.

''I don't know everything. I haven't lived through it like you did,'' Sam said, pouting. She stood up, putting the empty bowl into the dishwasher and leaned against it, looking back at Springtrap. ''Besides, I'm sure that you also have questions about what happened after you got incinerated. I mean, I did tell you what happened, but you'd probably want a more detailed description of it.''

''It wouldn't be a bad thing…''

''Hold that thought!'' Springtrap stared in surprise as Sam rushed upstairs, only to return with her laptop and beckon to him to follow her into the living room, where she placed her laptop on the coffee table and opened it, looking rather excited. Springtrap wondered whether she ever shared her theories with anyone else beside him as he walked over to her. He looked at her laptop as she found a website and showed it to him. It was quite colorful, with the logo of the website featuring a grey wolf holding a microphone.

''Ricky's Wonder Shack,'' he read as it dawned him. ''Is this some kind of restaurant similar to Freddy's?''

''Correct. They have already declared themselves as the rivals to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza,'' Sam said as she scrolled down the website and let Springtrap read.

''We are proud to introduce you to Ricky and the Misfits, our mascots who will guide you through Ricky's Wonder Shack, where fun and safety are guaranteed. Visit our prize corner and win gifts for yourself and your friends or simply enjoy a nice meal with your family. Our staff will make sure to provide your the best experience and our animatronics will give you the time of your life.''

''Here's the interesting part,'' Sam said as she opened another page and scrolled down. The page consisted of a bunch of house rules, guidelines and explanations. ''We are in no way affiliated with Fazbear Entertainment (or any other company) and will never be. Our animatronics are brand new and have no issues, nor have they ever shown any. We can ensure you that they are 100% safe, unlike some other company's mascots. If you have any complaint, it will be dealt with as soon as possible.''

''They really like to insult Fazbear Entertainment,'' Springtrap said. ''Have you been there?''

''Several times, especially after I found out they make awesome milkshakes for a reasonable price,'' Sam said.

''I somehow doubt that you're going there only because of their food,'' Springtrap said.

''Actually, the first time I went there was because of the animatronics,'' Sam replied, tilting her head. ''As much as I know, they're not haunted.'' She pointed at each of the mascots. ''They are Ricky, Dahlia, Quentin, Virgil and Max.''

She glanced at Springtrap, who seemed to be indifferent. She narrowed her eyes, pouting, with Springtrap giving her a confused look when she crossed her arms.

''What's wrong?'' he asked.

''It's just,… I thought you'd have something to say about this,'' Sam replied.

''I don't think Fazbear Entertainment is my problem anymore, nor this new restaurant,'' Springtrap replied.

''Maybe, but you and Henry created this whole franchise, didn't you?''

''That's true,'' Springtrap said in a quiet voice, recalling Henry's joy when they were done with their first animatronic. He still remembered the pride he felt when they accomplished something they were working on for months.

''So, how did this whole thing started out?'' Sam asked. ''As much as I understand, one of you was responsible for creating animatronics that brought joy to children, while the other is responsible for Freddy's dark past. Basically, two sides of one coin.''

''You know, I have never agreed to telling you anything,'' Springtrap replied, only to be taken aback when she gave him a hopeful look. ''Why are you looking at me like that?''

''I understand that you wouldn't talk about the past, especially since it still haunts you,'' Sam said.

''That's not what I meant,'' Springtrap replied, his eyes flaring purple.

''Then explain the hallucinations.''

''Only because I'm hallucinating things doesn't mean I need to tell you what happened,'' Springtrap replied.

''I think that the reason why you have hallucinations is because either you are afraid to accept the past or you don't want to confront it,'' Sam said.

''I am not a coward,'' Springtrap snapped.

''I do believe that,'' Sam said. ''Would a coward really let himself get killed on purpose by a springlock suit, facing his death while laughing like a madman?''

''I may not have known what exactly would've happened to me if I did let myself get killed, but I knew that my soul would be bound to the animatronic,'' Springtrap said, a smug grin on his expression. ''Let's be honest, death was a small price for what could be described as effective immortality.''

''In other words, you didn't run towards the suit because you were panicking when confronted by the spirits of the children you had killed and had accidentally triggered the springlocks,'' Sam said.

''No, I-'' Springtrap cut himself off when he saw Sam's sheepish grin.

''You know, getting you worked up about your past is a small prize for getting the answers to my questions,'' she said.

''You're really a manipulative smartass,'' Springtrap said, his eyes still glowing purple even though his rage subsided. ''First your antics at Freddy's, and now this.''

''To be honest, I don't want all of our conversations to be like this. It just feels stupid,'' Sam replied. ''Also, before you tell me again that I shouldn't be asking you anything if I already know everything, there is a difference between hearing it from you and just trying to figure it out from an already confusing video game.'' Springtrap wanted to say something, but Sam interrupted him, now all fired up. ''Besides, do you really care about my opinion of what you did? Are you afraid of me judging you? I'm pretty sure I have already stated my opinion on that matter. Also-''

''Sam, I'm getting your point,'' Springtrap interrupted her. He sighed. ''I brought it upon myself, didn't I?''

''Yeah, you did,'' Sam said rather bluntly. However, her expression softened.

''Fine, then answer me just one thing. Why do you even want to know everything about what happened? It is not like you'll be able to do anything that could change what I did or what happened in the past,'' Springtrap said. ''What does it mean to you?''

''Because I'm curious and because I want to understand what exactly happened and why it happened. It would also help me to better understand you as a person,'' Sam said, with Springtrap looking at her in surprise. ''Besides, you said that there's something you have started and that you need to finish. Don't you think that by digging in your own past, you might figure out what that was supposed to be?''

Springtrap had to admit that she had a point. However, what he didn't expect was that, despite everything she said and knew, she still wanted to get to know him better. He wanted to laugh it off, but for some reason, it made him feel at ease that someone showed genuine interest in his life without threatening to apprehend him for his crimes. Or maybe it was just because he felt lonely, since for a long time, his only conversation partners had been screaming robots, and now he had someone he could talk to without fearing that his soul would get torn apart.

''What do you want to know?'' he asked.

''Thank you,'' Sam said, noting Springtrap's surprised expression. ''There's a lot I'd like to ask you about. I mean, I already asked you about how this whole thing started. It was something about Fredbear's Family Diner, wasn't it?''

''Exactly. Henry came up with it, and we created two animatronic mascots for it, a bear and a bunny,'' Springtrap said. ''Fredbear and Bonnie, or rather, Spring Bonnie. It was a rather smile diner, but after a while, it got expanded, although I assume you already know that.''

''I know that later, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza came along, but I don't really know what happened in-between. I do know that you had your own company, Afton Robotics,'' Sam said, sitting on the other end of the couch with her legs crossed as she looked at Springtrap.

''How do you even-'' He shook his head. ''Forget it.''

''I think I'll later show you how exactly I got to all of that information,'' Sam said, looking curiously at him. ''Speaking of the mascots, there were multiple variations of Fredbear and Spring Bonnie, right?''

''Correct. At first there were just the animatronics and actual costumes, until someone came up with the bright idea to create a hybrid, a springlock suit,'' Springtrap explained.

''I assume that was your bright idea.''

''Actually, it wasn't. Henry was the one who started to build them, and I just helped along,'' Springtrap said, examining his hand and then clenching it into a fist. ''But that didn't mean I didn't use them, despite the fact that I knew how dangerous they could be.'' His eyes glowed in a soft purple when he noticed that Sam looked a little disturbed. ''You said you wanted details, didn't you? You see, if you trigger those spring locks, two things will happen: first the locks themselves will snap right into you, making deep cuts all over your body, and a split second later, all the animatronic parts, all that sharp steel and hard plastic will instantly be driven into your body. You will die, but it will be slow. You'll feel your organs punctured, the suit will grow wet with your blood, and you will know you’re dying for long, long minutes. You'll try to scream, but you will be unable to: your vocal cords will be severed, and your lungs will fill with your own blood until you drown in it.''

He observed Sam with delight as she shuddered, looking positively unnerved. However, delight turned into surprise when she gave him a look of pity.

''Sounds really awful, not to mention, you had a first-hand experience of what it felt like,'' Sam said.

''Actually, that wasn't my first time,'' Springtrap said. ''I accidentally ended up triggering it once before, but I managed to survive. However, I was left with scars all over my body.''

''And you still put on the suit…''

''Didn't we already establish that I had my own reasons for doing that?''

''It doesn't make it less horrifying,'' Sam replied. Springtrap had to admit that she had a point. He did wonder what would've happened if he hadn't known what would happen to him if he put the suit on and whether he would even do it. In the end, he came to the conclusion that he probably would do the same again.

Sam fell silent, leaning her head on her hands and staring into space as she, what Springtrap assumed, tried to come up with another question. He felt that, for someone so curious, she certainly was unprepared. Although, none of them expected this kind of outcome.

''You know, even though I kept annoying you about asking questions, and then there's the fact that you proved that you are dangerous and have no restraint,'' Sam muttered.

''Don't tell me that you don't want to be part of this anymore. You were the one who offered me help,'' Springtrap said, crossing his arms. Sam shook her head, confusing him. She sat up, looking at him straight in the eyes, making him feel a little unsettled.

''I do mean it,'' she said calmly. ''However, I think that, before I ask you anything else, I need to know something. Do you really want this? Are you okay with the idea of trying to even atone for what you did?'' She then stood up, grabbing her laptop and looking back at the stunned animatronic, who did not expect such question. ''Think a little about it, because I feel that none of us are currently comfortable with any of this.''

She then walked away, going upstairs into her room. Springtrap was surprised by her sudden change of attitude.

Do I really want this?

He was sent here to atone for what he did, right? However, at the same time, this didn't mean he needed to follow the suggestion. He had the freedom to do what he wanted, but he was aware that, if he decided to murder again, it would come with a heavy price that might destroy him completely. However, he knew that he wasn't the person who would seek redemption simply because someone told him he should. He was dangerous, he was manipulative and he didn't care about anyone or anything else but his own desires.

And Sam knew that. Springtrap was aware that her behavior was a mix of her wondering whether she could help him and her wondering whether he should be helped or incinerated again. She wanted to trust him, but she couldn't. After all, he was a murderer and he was a risk for her own safety. It was already baffling that she brought him to her place and offered him help. She gave him a choice and everything what would happen after that would be influenced by his decision.

However, what surprised him the most was that she actually did trust him to not make the same decision again. She hoped that he wouldn't take the same murderous path that sent him to Hell.

''You can still salvage what you have left.''

''Can I really do that?'' he muttered. To be honest, he didn't trust himself either. It would've been easier if he just murdered her right then and there and went somewhere else. Perhaps, that would be the right decision… There was no one to stop him. He could visit the past in his own way.

Suddenly, he saw red before his eyes. The suit was stained with, what at first looked like black ink, but he realized soon that it was blood. He looked around, startled to see flashing lights all over him. Looking down, he was on a stage, wearing a different suit, albeit it was still the Spring Bonnie mascot. He couldn't move at all. His arms were stiff, holding a microphone. He attempted to scream, to move, but nothing he did helped. It was like someone else controlled him.

Suddenly, he heard children's laughter. They were laughing at him, whispering how he was a pathetic excuse for a human and a complete monster who deserved all the pain he felt. They wanted to go for the overkill, not caring whether he had suffered enough. They didn't care whether he was even capable of redeeming himself. Nothing he did could earn him forgiveness. They knew that he had never felt sorry for what he did. He had laughed at their pain, didn't he? Therefore, he deserved even worse.

''Look at all the horrible things he had done!''

''Why would anyone think of bringing him back?''

''Why would anyone want to give him a second chance?!''

''He's broken! He'll never change!''

''Let's break him down further! Tear him apart!''

He fell on his knees, the microphone flying out of his hands. He saw something dripping down from his head and he touched his cheeks. Blood, like tears, formed in the corner of his eyes and was flowing down, staining the fur. Why am I crying?

''Murderer! Murderer!''

''You're so cruel!''

''Stay away from her!''

''Go back to Hell!''

''You're not getting a second chance! You will never get one!''

''We're not afraid of you!''

Their screams became louder, with Springtrap staring at the floor, agony rushing through his body. He was twitching, feeling as if he spring locks had come loose and all of the metal and plastic pieces were driven on to his body again and again.

Why am I feeling like this?

Despair overwhelmed him. It was a vicious cycle, one he had attempted to escape. But his actions would come back to haunt him, and every time it would become even worse. The children were gone, but he could still hear them. He could hear their screams, their crying and their derisive laughter as they mocked and taunted him. There was nothing he could do.

I will never change.

Blood dripped on the floor. He couldn't even cry real tears.

This is my punishment.

He looked up, dazed by the flashing lights and incoherent screaming. The people he saw had no faces, but were just unrecognizable shadows.

If I decide to murder again…

The microphone on the ground vanished, replaced by a blood-stained knife. He grabbed it, still feeling dizzy. The shadows gathered around a pool of blood, looking at another one of his victims. Springtrap's vision cleared and he saw the body of the only person who gave him another chance.

I have nothing left…

''No…''

The screams and accusations became louder and incomprehensible, but he knew that they all were saying the same. They were calling him a monster, someone beyond salvation…

''Shut up!'' he screamed at them, throwing the knife away. ''I didn't kill her!''

''That's what you wanted, didn't you?''

Among all the screaming, there was a calm voice speaking to him. He lowered his head, shaking in fear and agony. This was worse than Hell. What happened there was just someone's sick desire to punish him, but this was reality. This was possible and it would happen eventually.

''You don't deserve pity, yet you found one person who decided to trust you. You somehow found someone who felt sorry for you, despite knowing what you did. And you KILLED HER!''

''I didn't! This is just another hallucination!''

He felt a chilling feeling spreading through his chest when the voice started to laugh at him in a disdainful tone.

''Do you really believe that? You don't trust yourself either.''

''Please…''

''You wanted to repeat the past. You're now the main attraction. Do what you want, but even if you try to atone, you won't find peace. We won't let you find any peace.''

Springtrap's eyes suddenly flared purple as he gathered the strength to confront the voice.

''I don't care if I don't find peace. I know that I never will. I won't lie to myself either that I could ever earn forgiveness.'' His own voice was shaky, but he managed to remain focused. ''However, I am not going to let someone tell me what I will do and what I won't! I make my own decisions!''

''Even if this means that the people around you will suffer?''

''I won't let that happen.''

The other person snorted.

''We'll see about that. It's only a matter of time until you start killing again.''

The voice grew distant, laughing at him. Everything had vanished, leaving Springtrap in the darkness. His closed his eyes, shaking and feeling torn.

''What should I do?''

xXx

When he opened his eyes, he found himself lying on the floor. It was getting dark outside, causing him to wonder how long he had been unconscious. The clock on the wall told him that hours had passed and that it was already late afternoon. He sat up, noticing a blanket falling off his back. He looked at it in surprise.

Sam…

He looked around, wondering where she was. While she had been concerned enough to check on him, she didn't want to risk being in the same room as him. He understood that.

After folding the blanket and placing it on the couch, he went upstairs, assuming Sam was in her room. He knocked on the door, waiting for a response.

''What's your answer?''

At first, Springtrap felt confused, but then he lowered his head. He didn't have any.

''I don't know,'' he said, feeling how that was a pathetic response. To his surprise, the door did open, with Sam emerging out of her room. She held up her hand as if attempting to high-five him.

''Five nights,'' she told the confused animatronic. ''I'll give you five nights to make up your mind, starting with today. Whatever happens after that will depend on what you do during the time you're given.''

''I understand.'' Springtrap nodded, and added in a quiet tone, ''Thank you.''

She returned back to her room, with Springtrap lingering outside. He wasn't sure whether he was even allowed to enter her room and he didn't want her to think of him as an intruder, despite the fact that he was one. However, despite being insecure and doubtful about what he would do next, he made one firm decision.

He wanted to work on earning Sam's trust and prove himself that he was not a danger to her (although he couldn't say the same for the rest of society). It wasn't much, but that was the decision he made for tonight. However, whether he could keep the promise he made to himself until the end of the time period he had been given, he wasn't sure.

''Don't worry, you can come inside,'' she said, giving him a nonchalant look. A little startled, Springtrap nodded, entering her room and looking around curiously. It looked rather normal, with a closet, a bed, posters on the walls and books on shelves above the desk Sam was sitting at. He noticed that she also had a collection of video games and plushies, as well as a gaming console tucked neatly in the corner of a lower shelf. There was also a purple bean bag underneath the window.

''So, what are you doing?'' he asked her, trying to remain calm and not show just how insecure he felt.

''Playing Five Nights at Freddy's,'' she replied, only to wince when there was a loud scream and the GAME OVER screen showing her the night guard being stuffed in a Freddy suit in the parts and service room. ''Well, damnit.''

''That's the video game you were talking about,'' Springtrap said as Sam returned back to the main menu screen, being greeted by a twitching and glitched out Freddy Fazbear. He didn't expect to be met with this animatronic's mugshot ever again.

''Yep,'' Sam said, starting the night.

''Hello, hello? Hey! Hey, wow, day 4. I knew you could do it. Uh, hey, listen, I may not be around to send you a message tomorrow. *banging sound* It's-It's been a bad night here for me. Um, I-I'm kinda glad that I recorded my messages for you *clears throat* uh, when I did.''

Springtrap observed Sam curiously as she switched cameras between Freddy and Foxy, then turned to the hallways to check for Bonnie and Chica, all the while listening to whoever was talking on the phone.

''Uh, hey, do me a favor. *bang bang* Maybe sometime, uh, you could check inside those suits in the back room? *bang bang* I'm gonna to try to hold out until someone checks. Maybe it won't be so bad. *bang bang* Uh, I-I-I-I always wondered what was in all those empty heads back there. *chime plays*. You know...*moan* oh, no - *noises followed by an animatronic screech and static*''

''To be honest, this isn't not what I actually expected when you told me that there were video games based on what happened,'' Springtrap said. He did recognize the restaurant as the one from the 90s, seemingly the last official location, at least until Fazbear's Fright came along. It was also the location he managed to get himself trapped in, although none of the cameras showed the hidden safe room.

''This is just the first game, so there's a lot more to explore,'' Sam said as she stopped Foxy from charging into the office. ''It is also the most basic.''

''Care to explain?''

''SCREEEEEEEEEEE!''

Sam groaned when she got killed by Freddy again, then turned to Springtrap, giving a smile that made him feel rather unnerved.

''I guess I should,'' she said, closing the game and opening a file with numerous documents, all, while being different, having the word FNaF written somewhere. ''It's actually really easy and straightforward, although it doesn't give you much answers and it opens several new ones, which can be answered if you connect it to the other games.''

She scrolled down the file, which featured transcripts of the phone calls.

''You play as a night guard named Mike Schmidt, who decided to take the job at Freddy's sometime in 1992 or 1993. The only reason I knew about the year was because of the minimum wage that is written on your check when you complete the nights. In any case, Mike gets calls from this person I call Phone Guy, who tells him about the company policy, like 'Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced','' she read one of the transcripts.

''That does sound like them,'' Springtrap commented.

''Anyways, Phone Guy also tells you how to deal with the animatronics. Sure, you have doors and cameras, but you also have limited power during every night and the animatronics become only more aggressive. According to Phone Guy, the reason why they are after you is because they think you're an endoskeleton and therefore, you need to be stuffed in a suit. Also, Fazbear Entertainment doesn't tell anyone who signs up for this mess what's going on,'' Sam explained. ''Also, there was something about the Bite of '87, when the animatronics were still allowed to roam around and someone lost their frontal lobe because of them, but I that's for the second and fourth game. Speaking of Phone Guy, you heard that call when was playing Night 4. He died at the hands of the animatronics during that night, meaning all of the calls were indeed pre-recorded, but hadn't been deleted by the company.''

''I understand. Is that all?'' Springtrap asked, with Sam shaking her head.

''You see, there are the animatronics: Freddy Fazbear, Bonnie, Chica and Foxy, but they're not alone. There is also a yellow version of Freddy who can teleport into the office – Golden Freddy – showing that there's a lot more to it than just malfunctioning animatronics. I'm getting ahead of myself, but I know there is the withered Spring Bonnie suit hidden off camera inside the safe room. Then, there's the Puppet, or Marionette, who is also present in the restaurant, but hidden,'' Sam added, noticing how Springtrap's eyes started to glow purple. ''You knew?''

''Only after I found myself cornered in the safe room,'' he replied, glancing away. He could still see them, black streaks on their cheeks, as they watched him die in the most excruciating way possible. Sam gave him a curious look and, after a moment of silence, decided to continue.

''This is what clued me in,'' she said as she scrolled down further and shuffling away. ''You can read it yourself.''

Springtrap moved closer, reading the transcripts of the newspaper articles Sam had found in the game.

''Kids vanish at local pizzaria – bodies not found. Two local children were reportedly lured into a back room during the late hours of operation at Freddy Fazbear's Pizza on the night of June 26th. While video surveliance identified the man responsible and led to his capture the following morning, the children themselves were never found and are presumed dead. Police think that the suspect dressed as a company mascot to earn the children's trust.''

''Five children now reported missing. Suspect convicted. Five children are now linked to the incident at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza, where a man dressed as a cartoon mascot lured then into a back room. While the suspect has been charged, the bodies themselves were never found. Freddy Fazbear's Pizza has been fighting an uphill battle ever since to convince families to return to the pizzaria. 'It's a tragedy'.''

''Local pizzaria threatened with shutdown over sanitation. Local pizzaria, Freddy-Fazbear's Pizza has been threatened again with shutdown by the health department over reports of foul odor coming from the much-loved animal mascots.Police were contacted when parents reportedly noticed what appeared to be blood and mucus around the eyes and mouths of the mascots. One parent alikened them to 'reanimated carcasses'.''

''Local pizzaria said to close by years end. After a long struggle to stay in business after the tragedy that took place there many years ago, Freddy Fazbear's Pizza has announced that it will close by year's end.Despite a year-long search for a buyer, companies seem unwilling to be associated with the company.'These characters will live on. In the hears of kids – these characters will live on.' – CEO''

''I still can't believe that this really happened more than 30-40 years ago and that the person who is responsible for it is standing right next to me,'' Sam said, glaring at Springtrap. ''This is no laughing matter. Don't you have to say anything about it?''

He lowered his head, remembering being questioned about the Missing Children Incident. However, they couldn't prove anything. The bodies have never been found and nobody would believe that that the souls could possess the animatronics.

''I was the one who killed them,'' he admitted, sounding crestfallen. ''Nobody, aside from me, knew what happened.''

''Did they suffer?''

He looked at her, with Sam's expression being a mix of worry and animosity. He knew that she wanted him to be honest, no matter how bad the truth was.

''I-'' He shook his head. ''They died quickly, although it was bloody. However, most of the suffering came from being trapped inside the animatronics and unable to move on.''

''That and wanting to get revenge on you,'' Sam said. ''That's why they went after the night guards. They knew you would eventually return.''

Springtrap sat on Sam's bed, not really knowing what to make of the situation anymore. While Sam had already made it clear what she thought about him, he felt that this was making the situation only worse.

''Hey, Springtrap…'' He looked up at her. ''How about going back to Freddy's tonight?''

''Why?'' He looked at her confused. She didn't seem to be really angry at him, although her being calm wasn't better either.

''To search for answers. You were brought there, so maybe you should've examined the place,'' Sam said.

''That location is empty,'' Springtrap replied.

''Really? Have you even explored the place before you decided to kidnap me?'' Sam asked.

''Not exactly,'' he said sheepishly. Sam gave him a knowing look, a smile on her expression.

''At least we know what we're going to do tonight,'' she said. Springtrap sighed, not really liking where this was going.

xXx

A flashlight illuminated the ground of the building, bobbing as the man looked around. His steps were steady and focused as he examined every room, making sure nobody was inside after hours. Soon, he too would retire for the rest of the night.

One of the rooms he visited was in the back of the building, looking more like a storage closet filled with coats. However, those were actually costumes placed on the hangers. Just as he was about to close the room, he noticed movement in the corner of his eye.

''Hello? Anybody there?'' he called out in a gruff voice. ''You aren't supposed to be here.''

He entered the room, flashing the light at the costumes, but he didn't see anyone. However, he was certain that something had moved. He walked over to the costumes, pointing his flashlight at them. One of the costumes was hanging askew, as if it was just thrown inside. He assumed that this is what drew his attention and decided to leave.

However, before he could do that, the costume suddenly lunged at him, and he felt a sharp pain spreading through his chest. Whoever wore the mascot suit plunged a knife deep into his chest. He tried to scream, but the mascot put its paw over his mouth, gently lowering him down as he choked in his own blood. Seconds later, he was dead. The mascot stared at the man with its bloodshot eyes, then put a finger on its lips.

''Shhhhhhhh…''

Links:

#Previous Chapter

#Current Chapter

#Next Chapter

#Five Nights at Freddy's: The Untold Story (Masterlist)

#Five Nights at Freddy's: The Untold Story #Five Nights at Freddy's: Salvaged #william afton #springtrap #henry emily #fnaf #five nights at freddy's #five nights at freddy's 3 #fnaf 3

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princess-of-the-corner · 2 years ago

Note

What’s Charlie like in your au?

Okay Charlie! Charlie, Charlie, Charlie!

Charlie is genuinely 100% a real person in my AU. Not a robot.

That said.

She did inherit her dad's interest in robotics. One of the reasons she liked being with him in his workshop as a kid.

She steered away from that for a while, trauma of what happened making her wary of anything that reminded her of Back Then. But she still ended up taking to working with mechanical parts and programming pretty easily even if it wasn't directly into animatronics.

The evens of Silver Eyes go as they did. Going back for the memorial, uncovering the truth, nearly getting killed by confused animatronics, having to kill William to escape.

Despite even more trauma, Charlie feels very much for all that was lost. The children who lost their lives, her father whose dream was shattered. She decides that she doesn't want to let Afton ruin all of that.

She applies herself more into robotics, deciding to major in it at college. However, she also takes a side study into the supernatural.

She eventually goes back to the original location for two reasons.

The first reason: She wants to make sure the souls of the children are properly able to move on. She's able to properly summon and talk to them. Which gives her some insight into why Afton killed them in particular, and that the events of Silver Eyes aren't the first time he came back there. The children are worried about moving on, knowing that Afton could have become a Ghost too. And that he won't stop. Charlie promises to deal with that(low-key having already thought about that before).

The second reason: Charlie wanted to salvage the old parts. Get a jumpstart on how these animatronics worked. And also bring a little bit of her dad's work into the new place, even if she knows it'll all get replaced eventually. Ship of Theseus and all that.

Charlie moves somewhere away from Hurricane, aware that the people might be uncomfortable with her decision, and opens the new pizzeria. With better and improved Animatronics.

Over the next several years, Charlie expands the company. From just the little pizzeria, to the Pizzaplex. In between upgrades to the location, she works on upgrading the security. Making it as hard as possible for anyone to harm the children. Whether it's Afton's Ghost or some more mundane killer and/or creep, she has that on lock.

(No seriously. I have headcanons on a LOT of the security measures that should be in the Pizzaplex but Vanny deactivated).

Along the way she meets up with Michael and Elizabeth(now both Ghosts) and agrees to bring them into the company. Michael as part of Security, and Elizabeth eventually becoming a co-creator for the animatronics.

She also goes though a lot of regular Human staff, with the only one sticking around through it all being one of the first security hires Jimothy "Phone Guy" Deacon.

Sometime along the way, the Animatronics also start becoming Alive on their own. Not possessed, but genuinely their programming becomes complicated enough that they're people now.

Charlie, now head of the Pizzaplex and still working on it, is still very dedicated to both fun and safety. However, due to not wanting to let everyone know 'hey there's a serial killer Ghost who pops up sometimes', she does her best to keep that and the darker history under wraps. Not full on cover up, but just. Do not capitalize on the 'spooky rumors'.

#fnaf au #tw fnaf

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hannibalzero · 2 years ago

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Ahhhhh that's exactly what i was thinking about who would be elizabeth's fatherrr!!!

I was like for a few moment like...who?how? And then like a ligh the person came to my head...comstock.

I had an idea a after seeing your little mama au but with booker i was like what if elizabeth ( maybe a lil evil elizabth ) had discovered the truth and kidnapped booker and instead of her being the one traped in the tower, is a pregnant booker the one traped inside?

Elizabeth was traped in the tower until she was told the truth by comstock (excpet him being an al version of booker) so now she's resentful towards him because he "sold her", so she decided to kidnap his past self ( the one pregnant with her infant self)

Booker has no idea of my this crazy people kidnaped him he's very confused (and a little sacred for his baby annie)

They made the people of columbia believe that the savior and columbia's sheep captured the false sheperd and traped him inside the tower so then he wouldn't "hurt" them.

The songbird new work is to watch booker in the tower and keep him from escaping, sadly booker can't do much with his big tummy in the way, and cuz the bird seems to hate him.

The only color he ever saw in the birds eye's we're red,wouldn't attack him but was very unfriendly

Well it did till booker started having his braxton hicks.

Now they are on neutral side, but the song bird will screech from time to time when booker tries to start a conversation or pet him.

Booker's only company are elizabeth old book's wich he read to his annie,and some music discos.

Love your content💖💖💖

Off that’s a damn good idea, I like the idea of booker and comstock talking. Doing something that has never happened before. Accepting the other half of themselves. Like booker asking comstock.

“Look man do you really Believe that stuff?”

“Yes and no? I mean I believe in Elisabeth. Everything else kinda snowballed. If I said yes to the right people? Money flowed in.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Do you regrets it? Denying the baptism?”

“Sometimes? I’m always gonna be me…even if that water washes the blood off. I still have the memories.”

Both men look out their window.

Comstock disappeared leaving booker alone with himself and now songbird.

Booker doesn’t really mind his cage? This is the best place he has lived his whole life. Sure he can’t leave but sure beats giving birth on the back of a stage couch. Maybe Elisabeth visits with the luttesses from time to time.

“Did you love comstock?” Robbert asked sharing a bit of ice cream with booker.

“Umm yeah because he’s me? Sure he isn’t the most flattering of my conman personality. But he’s still me and I accepted it.”

“Fascinating.” The sister mumbled curiously

#little mama au #asks #wonderful idea #bioshock infinite #Tw mpreg #booker/comstock

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puritates · 1 year ago

Text

The only way to describe the look that crossed her face was horror. Rosy cheeks paled and her body felt cold. His descriptions were so plain, spoken simply and honestly in a way that was bone-chilling. It felt like someone had shoved slivers of ice underneath her fingernails. The way he described the torture he endured, and everything he survived made her feel ill. How could he still smile at her when he'd been through something so unforgivably horrific.

Spitting in the face of propriety and every bit of etiquette she'd been taught had her nearly leaping from the ground to wrap her arms around him. As if by sheer force of will she could wash away the memories. She went from kneeling on the ground next to him to hefting a knee up onto his lounge chair to get as close to him as she physically could. She was mindful of the tubes that connected to him but was overcome with the need to be close and offer every comfort she could.

"That is--!! For you to have gone through something so horrid!! Ciel, I am so, so sorry!! What you've gone through-- good Lord I am so glad you're alive!! A beast?! They tried to use you both to summon a beast!! Complete nonsense--!! Did they abandon the logic their mothers had gifted them with?! Murderers, kidnappers, MONSTERS!! How dare-- how bloody dare they! I'll see them all hanged, I swear by it!"

The kind reassurances fell on deaf ears. Really it felt like she couldn't hear anything over the roaring of blood in her ears. Rage was running wild beneath the surface, skin going from deathly cold to blistering hot as her blood boiled beneath her skin. Violence was meant to be used for the protection of others. Her father made that very clear to her. At this moment, she didn't care. Her mind rather to thoughts of divine retribution, eyes blazing and burning as angel wings ignited to ash from sin. At this moment, Elizabeth Midford didn't want justice. She wanted them to die. She wanted to kill them.

Her body was shaking, overcome by a fury she'd never known. Still, her hold remained careful, like she was holding something precious. She was. Fingers ran through his hair, caressing and soothing even as she felt like a wild animal in the flesh of a girl.

"I will never go far from you. I will keep you company until you are fit to travel home. We can talk for hours, I can tell you everything that's happened in the last three years. We will do anything and everything you like. Nothing would make me happier, my dear Ciel."

It was strange to have someone new in the room he had been occupying as of recent. The only faces he knew were that of the mortician, the other three Stars, and one of the Weston College prefect four choir members. Elizabeth was new, but she was no stranger to him. She was a comfort instead. A familiar light that filled that dark and isolating room. It seemed she must have thought the same as she sat beside him, her hand still embracing his.

‘ As kind and caring as your words are, you would not have wanted to see me in my incapacitated state. I wouldn't want you to see me like that. The way my body was mishandled by that shadowy organization. We were locked in a cage, starved, beaten. We were broken down and defiled. It was a torturous time and we had been there for a month. Their intentions were to sacrifice as many children necessary to summon some beast they believed would grant them power. You have no guilt to fear, Lizzie. For not being at my side when I was rescued. I hold nothing against you. I know you all too well. There was only so much anyone could have done for us. ’

Ciel listened when she spoke up. It was a reassurance to him that she still cared deeply for him. And it was enough for him to lift his head and offer her a warming smile. A genuine one meant for her.

‘ Thank you, Lizzie. That means more to me than you can imagine. Once I'm well enough to return home, I'll be sure to explain to Aunt Francis and Uncle Alexis your absence. It's been so lonely back here, but now I have you. ’

#ominasapphirus #— TAPESTRY OF THREADS; ≺ RP ≻#{{ she's gone from 0 to murder }}

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yynumaki · 2 years ago

Text

Wrong Memories

Part 1

Five Hargreeves x OC!Female Reader

Warning(s): swearing

A/n:This is the first fic I wrote here on Tumblr and I have no idea how to feel about it 😅 also english isn't my first language

43 babies were born on the 12th hour of October 1st 1989. An eccentric billionaire named Reginald Hargreeves manages to buy and adopt seven of these children and would soon raise them, utilise their powers and call them 'The Umbrella Academy'.

Along side Reginald was his assistant Pogo and his house caretaker named Elizabeth, they were the people who took care of these children throughout their childhood.

Although, little did Reginald know that his trusted caretaker also had a child at the exact same time as the other mothers of his adoptive children.

He ignored this coincidence knowing that he only needs seven children to execute his project. He had let her keep the child in his mansion since he couldn't care less about it and thought that she could be some sort of back up if anything happens.

Elizabeth (or Beth for short) named her daughter Adley, Adley Cooper. But similar to any other story, a tragic incident happened to her mother because of someone she treated like a sister. Vanya Hargreeves.

When Vanya was a young child, she had no control over her abilities which caused Elizabeths death and many other 'Nannies' Reginald has hired, thus Grace was created.

Using Allisons abilities, Reginald made Adley forget that Vanya was the cause of Elizabeth's death in the first place. For he knew what Adley was capable of yet he still ignores her potential.

Because of this, Adley cant help the nightmares that come to her every night, this would frightened her most of the time, but also saddens her. Her eyes would fill up with tears in the memory of her mother.

So to avoid such scenarios, she would simply climb out the window and sit on the roof to gaze at the stars above. Astrology was always her favourite thing to study since her mother always took an interest in the moon and stars.

One night she jumped off the window because another one of those horrible nightmares occurred once more, she was blinking away her tears and she was also having hiccuped breaths, she was sitting with her knees up her chin and her arms wrapped around them. She often wondered if her mother was watching her from above, since she always told her that her ancestors that passed all became their own star up in the sky.

She was deep in thought when a voice suddenly startled her.

“The hell are you doing up there?” came Five's voice in a hush, his eyebrows connected together in confusion and his eyes narrowed at her. Ah yes, Five Hargreeves, the most stubborn human being she could ever think of.

Five and Adley often fought eachother, not physically of course, more on academics mostly. She was just as prideful as Five but in her own way, she often denies it refusing accept that fact, but they also enjoy eachothers company though they would never admit that to one another.

They often had study sessions together once Adley was done with all her chores and when Five was done with training.

This all started when they were barely the age of 8. The Umbrella Academy was advanced in their study and Adley would often join them in their lessons with Pogo.

She went to their living room one day expecting it to be empty since she saw the 'umbrellas' outside playing, she was surprised to see Five there sitting on the floor with his legs crossed and a book in hand.

"What do you want?" Five grumbled, his head turning to face her with an annoyed look.

“I came here to read dimwit" answered Adley, “I didn't think you'd be here”

She went over to the shelves and pulled out her favourite fantasy book called 'Harry Potter'.

“Really?” Five mocked, “Your reading that?” he pointed at her book without removing his hand on the one he was holding.

Adley confidently sat on the sofa above him and opened her book, “Yeah, whats wrong with it?” she asked.

“Its a fantasy book” replied Five, “Why dont you try reading something more useful? Like me.” he showed her what he was reading, the book was filled with numbers and calculations, something a normal 8 year old would almost never understand.

"You have plenty of time to study that with Pogo during your lessons pea for brain" she teased, "But this, is more fun to read" she held up her book and Five subconsciously closed his and sat next to her.

"Well what's it about?" He asked,

"Listen to this-"

From that day forward their relationship grew to something better in a way, they became 'Frenemies' of some sort.

____________________________

“Im not asking again Adley, what the hell are you doing up there?” asked Five, he jumed up to join her on the roof while wearing his pajamas. He was supposed to be asleep at that time, but he suddenly woke up feeling his throat dried up.

“Had another nightmare” she whispered.

That night, they both sat in silence when Five put an arm around her in a comforting way. He knew about the awful nights she had, she often spilled it out when they were having a conversation, but he doesn't know what to do when they actually occur, mostly because he never actually saw them happen.

But either way, he gave her comfort that night. In a way that only the both of them knew, in a way that only the both of them felt.

___________________

Five hits his knife on the table.

'This kid' Adley thought as she rolls her eyes while she stood next to grace.

“Number Five?” Reginald asks while enjoying his dinner.

“I have a question.” Five states, his hands joined together while his elbows are on the table.

“Knowledge is an admirable goal” Reg spoke, "But you know the rules, no talking during mealtimes, you are interrupting Herr Carlson”

Adley smirked at Reginald's response, knowing well enough that Five would lose this argument he's starting.

“I want to time travel.” Five declared, his expression is visibly filled with frustration towards his father.

“No” Reginald quickly answered, not even sparing his son a glance.

“But I'm ready” fought Five, “I've been practicing my spacial jumps just like you said”

He then teleported himself next to his father, “See?”

“A spacial jump is trivial when compared with the unknowns of time travel” his father informed, “One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing water and reappearing as an acorn” he sipped his wine.

“Well I dont get it” Five murmured loudly.

Adley held on to a laugh when she heard Five's response.

“Hence the reason you're not ready”

Five took a glance at Adley, she silently shook her head no with a smirk on her face. Five talked about asking his father to finally let him travel in time other than just space, in which Adley laughed in his face jokingly. They both knew what kind of father Reginald is, so she informed him that he would never agree to it.

“I'm not afraid.”

“Fear isnt the issue, the effects it might have on your body, even your mind are far too unpredictable” he spoke firmly, "Now, I forbid you to talk about this anymore."

With that, Five stormed out of the academy with heavy footsteps.

“Number Five!” Reginald exclaimed, “Adley follow that boy." He ordered

Adley obediently nodded and ran after Five yelling his name.

"Five" she said, "Five!"

They both ran outside the academy, strangers eyes following them as they engaged themselves in another loud argument.

"Can you believe him?!" Five shouted, still marching with anger on the sidewalk, “How could he think that I'm still not ready?! I'm 15 for fucks sake!” he threw his arms up in frustration, his eyes narrowed at everyone on the street.

“Five maybe hes right for all we know okay?” Adley loudly argued, “I mean how much do we really know about time travel?! Let me answer that for you, none!”

“Oh we both know I'm ready Adley” Five huffed through gritted teeth as he moved Adley from his left side to the right to avoid cars and other vehicles, “I've been training my ass for months!”

“Come on” Adley whined as he locked her arms with Five, ”Lets just go back to the academy Five-”

But before she could even finish her sentence, she felt her surroundings spinning and warping with her feet slightly lifting from the ground before coming back down in a split second, she hurled since her head was still spinning but Five kept on walking with a fast pace.

"Not ready my ass" he whispered just loud enough for her to hear, "Look around!" He exclaimed with excitement.

Adley lifted her head to see the shops with different items, the sun shining brighter and the people dressed for a different weather- 'Its summer-' she thought to herself.

Seeing her surroundings her grip on Fives arm become tighter.

Five must've jumped further into the future because the summer suddenly become fall, then fall suddenly became winter, and then winter became- fire?___________________

"What the hell?-" Five whispered.

Both of them looked at eachother and nodded, they sprinted back to the academy yelling for Vanya, Ben, Dad or anyone at this point.

"Five-" Adley said with her voice trembling, her eyes wide and her body shaking slightly as she stared at the place where the academy once stood.

Five looked over at Adley, his face full of regret and guilt.

He tried to go back, really tried, but nothing happened. They were stuck there

"Where are we, or- when? Are we?” she uttered, composing herself, trying to think that Five would soon get them out of there.

"The apocalypse." Five whispered

She slightly gasped, fear taking over her body since she just froze there in place.

After a while, the shock decreased slightly, they started to look around for anyone, or even anything to let them know what time they were in. And in doing so, they found a few bodies just outside the academy, and what made it worse was the realization of who these were.

The tattoos were visible on their wrist, and the fact that they were reaching out for eachother brought a tear to both Adley and Fives eyes.

"It can't be-" Five whimpered, his hands reaching down for his siblings lifeless bodies, "It can't." He repeated.

Adley reached out for him, hugging him from behind, her own tears staining his jacket. They both knelt there, both grieving the loss of their family.

_____________

They both walked around for what felt like hours trying to find items that are still usable for them, thankfully some canned items were still delectable and some blankets and clothing were also usable. They've put all these items on a cart they found along with other items, but it seemed that Adley was the only one doing most of the work, Five was too busy reading a book Vanya wrote that they found in what was left of the Academy.

She'd let him to it without complaining though, finding some salvageable items seemed to be distracting her from the current situation they're in.

They both found some clothing suitable for the current environment they were in and decided to change their attire and start walking, trying to find a place suitable to stay for a while.

The further they walked, the more they realized that the world seemed to have ended because of some explosion, everything was on fire and it looked like the buildings were shook by some sort of earthquake.

At night fall they both agreed to set up camp on an open field and stay there for the mean time.

Adley knelt to the ground and grew a circle of thin trees surrounding them like some sort of tent with an opening at the top for the fire they started, and another one which acted like a doorway. She grew thick and soft grass for them to lay in and some fresh berries since it was Fives favourite.

This is what Adley's abilities are, Chlorokinesis.

It is the ability to mentally and/or physically summon, control and manipulate plants and vegetation. The person with the ability can control and manipulate wood, rock soil, roots, fruits, and flowers, even moss found in natural field or habitat.

After a while Five suddenly broke the silence between them all day.

Lifting his head from the book and his writings for the calculation he was doing he spoke, “I'm sorry.”

“What for?” Adley asked, her gaze on the fire infront of them.

“For dragging you here” he answered, his eyes following hers, they both stared into a flames for a few seconds before she spoke again.

“Its not your fault Five” she stated, “I mean how could you possibly know what was waiting for us in the future?” she questioned.

“But still.” Five swallowed hard, he started to tear up once more, his hands gripping the pen he had harshly, his eyes avoiding hers, “I should've listened."

“Five.” Adley firmly said, her body still, but her eyes showed determination, “I want you to tell me that you know that this isn't your fault.”

“But-”

“Five Hargreeves.”

Five gulped, she had never used his full name before, it was always his first or last, and most of the time insulting nicknames.

“This. Isnt. Your. Fault” she said slowly, “Where we are right now might be an apocalypse, but what you did was still remarkable”

Five smiled softly, but Adley could tell it was a forced one.

She knew she should be angry at Five right now, she knew that she could yell at him, insult him and curse him for not listening to his father and herself, but she couldn't, not when he was already blaming himself, not when theres no point in lashing out at him right now, and not when he was looking at her like that. With his eyes brimming with tears.

She knew how Five always acted like he was better than everyone else. But she knew that he only acted that way because he thinks he's not good enough, he thinks that if he doesn't do the very best he'd be considered as a disappointment. He may seem self-centred and stubborn but he's really just a boy. Just a boy.

"You getting soft on me now peanut?” she laughed

“Way to ruin the moment birds nest” Five retorted

"Oh we were having a moment?" Mocked Adley, "In the middle of the apocalypse?-"

_____________________

They've been living in the apocalypse for what felt like forever.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years.

10 years. They've spent 10 years together in this waste land, hiking every once in a while for the search of usable items and delectables, and a better place to stay along with water sources.

Fives calculation was still incomplete, many many books and notepads were filled with numbers as he squiggles away with his pencil, always focusing on his work. He was focused and determined for one thing and one thing only, and that was to get Adley back home.

At this point he's already lost hope, but in some way, in some almost impossible way, Adley always found a way to encourage him.

He doesn't know if its the endless bickering, the daily playful insults, or just Adley being herself. Everything she does just makes his world spin, his heart beat, and his cheeks flushed.

He'd always felt like this, even back at the academy, when he wakes up with her having his coffee ready for him, her always accompanying him every time he felt lonely, her just being there especially when he needs it.

Sure they may always argue but thats just how the both of them are, two entirely different yet similar people. Its their bond, and in some way, its how they show their love.

____________

When Five was busy once more taking his time analyzing his current calculations, he noticed a man wearing a suit and sunglasses standing at the other end of their fortress.

He quickly pulled out his gun and looked over the doorway beside him to see if Adley already arrived from her little 'trip' to find anything useful.

"Who the hell are you?" Five yelled.

"Sir" the man spoke, which made Five grip his gun tighter, "I am James Miller, from The Commission, and assistant of The Handler" he kept his arm infront of him, holding them together.

Five was now curious, 'What the hell is 'The Commission' and who the hell is this handler person? And most importantly, what does this guy want and how the hell did he survive the apocalypse looking like this?'

"What do you want."

"We'd like to recruit you and your partner to work with us." He blantly stated.

Wow this guy was getting straight to the point.

"Work with who?" Five asked, "And work with what?-" his guard was suddenly let down a bit, his tense shoulders relaxing slightly, with his gun being lowered slowly.

"We'd like to hire you as professional assasins." James declared, "And get you out of this apocalypse."

"And how the hell are you supposed to do that?" Now Five was visibly getting more frustrated by the second. His aim went directly infront of the man and James reluctantly put his arm up as a gesture of coming in peace.

"Hey Five" said Adley as she walked through the doorway, her eyes glued down to the new trinkets she'd found by wondering around, "I think I found a friend for Dolores back at the-"

James subconsciously pulled out his pistol from his back pocket and pointed it at Adley due to the surprise of her entry.

Instinctively, Five teleported infront of her and was now visibly angry at the man that stood a couple pf feet away from them.

"Put it down." Five quietly said in a threatening way, enough for James to hear. "If you come in peace then why the hell did you just point a gun at Adley?."

James took a second to stare at the two and carefully put his pistol back to his side. He looked at his watch and saw that time was running out.

He sighed as he looked at Adley and Five once more, he knew he had to take atleast one of them back to her since he's only able to carry one person at the time.

His hands glowed with an almost blinding light, Five and Adley's eyes turned white and their limbs softened, making Five drop his gun and his jaw slacked.

"Adley Cooper, age of 25" he started, "Will have no memory of Five Hargreeves nor the apocalypse, or even your life before today."

And with that he let go of Adley, watching as she fainted and fell to the ground with a soft thud, he then turned to Five.

"Five Hargreeves, age of 25" James spoke, "Will be able to keep your memories, but Adley Cooper shall be replaced with-" he looked around their so called 'fortress' and saw mannequin on the corner of it, "With that mannequin, the name Adley would also be replaced with 'Dolores' on your mind and memories"

As he closed his hands Five gasp for air and fell with another thud. And with that picked up his briefcase and knelt next to Adley, holding her arms and bringing her to the commission.

#five hargreeves x reader #five hargreeves #five x reader #aidan gallagher imagine #aidan gallagher #aidan gallagher x reader #five x you #five x y/n #five hargreeves fluff #five hargreeves imagine #number 5 #tua #the umbrella academy #the umbrella academy x reader #five hargreeves x you #five Hargreeves x y/n

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togrowoldinv · 3 years ago

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Unforgettable

Elizabeth Olsen x Reader

You and Lizzie celebrate your wedding anniversary.

Note: I wanted to write some Elizabeth and was feeling sentimental, so I wrote some very fluffy content in between my classes. Enjoy!

Masterlist

You wake up in the early morning light and look over to see your sleeping wife next to you. Her hair is tousled up into a messy bun, there is no hint of makeup on her face, and she wears one of your old college t-shirts. To you, she never looks more beautiful than she does first thing in the morning, her natural beauty shining through like the rise of the early morning sun.

You met Elizabeth when you both attended NYU. After three years of friendship, your relationship turned into something more. Maybe in some ways it always was love, but after a few years you were both ready to love each other completely. That was five years ago.

It was three years ago today that you married Lizzie. For every anniversary, you have a tradition of listening to every song played at your wedding ceremony and during your first dance. This year you are beyond happy to add your child to this tradition. You and Lizzie adopted a one-year-old baby boy about six months ago. You both fell in love with him immediately and there has been so much happiness in your home since his arrival.

Elizabeth begins to stir next to you, waking from her deep slumber. She blindly reaches for your side of the bed and pulls you closer to her, finding the crevice between your collar bone and neck a safe place to rest.

“Morning, baby,” she says quietly, her voice thick with sleep and muffled from your body.

“Happy anniversary, Lizzie,” you say with nuzzle to her head.

“Mmm, happy anniversary, y/n. I love you,” Lizzie replies, turning a bit in your arms to lean her head on her own hand next to you.

“I love you too,” you kiss her gently and you both hear little feet scurrying down the hallway towards your bedroom. “Incoming in three, two, hey buddy!” you greet your son, and he comes to your side of the bed to be picked up, wanting to join you and Lizzie in what you cheesily call a snuggle pile. You easily lift him, and he settles between you and Lizzie.

“Hey sweet boy,” Lizzie greets him with a kiss. He smiles widely at her with a tiny ‘hi mama’ mumbled back, and you watch them interact, completely enamored by your wife.

You all snuggle for a while longer before you tumble out of bed and make breakfast together. Elizabeth, being the chef she is, does most of the work while you and James hand her ingredients and keep her company.

After a breakfast full of laughs and love, you turn on your record player. Lizzie’s older sisters found out about your tradition of listening to your wedding music every year, and for your anniversary last year they gifted you a vinyl record with all of the songs on it. You and Lizzie treasure the thoughtful gift.

You get through all of the wedding ceremony songs, explaining to James what happened when each one played. Not that he understands what a wedding is at 18 months old, but he nods along intently and smiles as you and Lizzie recount your memories together.

When your first dance song comes on, Elizabeth stands up to offer you and James both a hand. As you take her hand, he happily grabs her hand as you take his other one. The sound of Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” fills the room as you dance with your wife and son.

“Unforgettable in every way,” you sing in a deep voice, trying to do an impression of the singer. You fail miserably at sounding like such a great artist, but it makes everyone laugh and your heart feels so content.

As the last note of the sound trickles out of the air, Lizzie pulls you in for a sweet kiss. You reciprocate easily and when you pull away, you lift your son up in your arms. You both plant dramatic kisses to each of his cheeks and he giggles wildly.

“We love you, Jamie!” you and Lizzie both tell him.

“We really picked the perfect song, y/n. Every year with you is unforgettable,” Elizabeth beams with love.

“I love you so much, Elizabeth,” you say.

“I love you too, baby,” she replies.

#elizabeth olsen x reader #lizzie olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen fluff #elizabeth olsen

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erimeows · 3 years ago

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Hurting You (NSFW)

"V, why are you here?"

Jumin walked in from work, ready to relax, only to see his best friend sitting at one of the barstools in his kitchen, a purring Elizabeth 3rd resting in his lap.

"What, can't I drop by to visit?"

"Jihyun." Jumin said this in a harsher tone, walking over to the photographer and standing in front of him. "You didn't even look towards me when I walked in. Did you not hear me? Has your vision gotten worse?" He questioned, looking into the clouded blue eyes that were obscured from his view by the sunglasses in front of them. Of course, V didn't answer. "I want answers. What on earth is going on?"

Over the past few days, a lot had happened.

Some random girl by the name of (y/n) had supposedly been lured into their chatroom by a weird hacker and promoted to Rika's position. Ever since then, the chatroom had been more active than it had been since Rika's passing, and it seemed like Seven was enjoying (y/n)'s company more than anyone when he was supposed to be researching her to make sure she wasn't dangerous.

God, it was complicated.

Life was complicated.

His relationship with V was just complicated and he didn't know where to place his romantic feelings, but didn't want to waste his time. Rika and V had been happy together, and V was still grieving her- Jumin had never been and still wasn't one of the pieces to their intricate puzzle.

"Look, Jumin, Luciel is working on it. I have no idea how she even got into the chatroom or who led her there. I'm convinced that (y/n) is safe and that this is just some sort of misunderstanding-"

"You're lying," Jumin cut the older man off. "We've been friends for years. I can tell. Don't try to fool me. You know something, and I know you know something. A misunderstanding... Let's analyze this. If it's an enemy of Seven, they could have hacked him themselves. This hasn't and won't negatively affect him." Though he was trying to use his logic, in his head, he knew there was no way that what he was saying wasn't the truth. V knew something, and Jumin could tell that much based off of the way those turquoise eyes were darting around the room despite not being able to see that much, the way the soft smile on those pale peach lips disappeared.

"We've had a lot of powerful and influential guests-"

"We both know that if someone wanted to get to our party guests, they wouldn't do it through the messenger app. They'd do it directly. I know you're taking some sort of burden on yourself and hiding it from us, but the longer you do that... The more it'll hurt us in the end. I've trusted you for years. Don't make me regret that," By the end of his statement, Jumin had crossed his arms, feeling more defensive than he ever had around the older man as his voice dropped to a whisper.

"Jumin..." V whispered, getting off of the barstool and placing a hand on the ravenette's cheek. Jumin stopped, debating on pulling away, but unable to keep himself from leaning into the smooth, cool touch. And, before he knew it, their lips were colliding. He wasn't sure who'd made the first move or why, but he was kissing V and V was kissing back, and he had no intention on stopping. "J-Jumin," V spoke in between kisses, letting out a small gasp when Jumin's hands were on the back of his thighs, yanking him closer. "Jumin!"

For a few seconds, Jumin couldn't help but wonder about Rika, feeling himself grow flustered and curl his hands inwards at the thought of how upset she might be if she were alive to see this, his nails digging into V's thighs through his grey pants. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he should stop this, that he should push V away and forget that it ever happened, he couldn't. Not for himself, V, or Rika.

He wanted to be selfish for once.

Rika would've wanted them to be happy anyways, right?

Right...

The memories of V and Rika's relationship continued to flood through his mind, but he pushed them away, steadily stepping back, V following in pace so their kiss didn't break. Jumin was breathing heavily through his nose as he slipped his tongue across V's lips and into his mouth. The older man moaned into it, arms around Jumin's neck as they tumbled into the ravenette's room, kicking the door shut behind them. V finally broke away from him, sitting on the edge of the king sized bed and unbuttoning his shirt.

God, the way he undressed himself was so hurried, so feverous, more so than Jumin had seen him do anything else in the years they'd known each other. V tentatively took the shirt off, letting it fall to the ground in one subtle movement, exposing more of his pale skin to Jumin's eyes. Next were the sunglasses, which were gently set on top of the shirt, and Jumin couldn't help but feel a pang in his chest as V looked up in his direction.

V couldn't even see him properly, and Jumin didn't want anything more than to be seen by the older man. At the very least, V could feel him... Hopefully that would never change. For a brief second, Jumin wondered how Rika could've ever managed to hurt him, but realized that wasn't the time. He'd already spent enough hours lamenting on it in private and he knew better than to waste his emotions on someone who would never come back anyways.

"What's on your mind?"

Jumin questioned, waiting for V to answer as he admired the blue-haired man's figure; thin, with barely defined muscles moving underneath creamy pale skin. He'd lost weight, but with the grief he'd been facing and how much he'd been traveling, Jumin shouldn't have expected anything else from V. Sometimes Jumin liked to think that one day V would come back and smile like he used to, enjoying those casual Sunday breakfasts where he'd sneak photos of Jumin when he thought Jumin wasn't looking; smile like he used to before Rika came into his life.

"Love me."

The ravenette paused, almost sputtering at V's response. V had always been a vague, private person, so hearing that made Jumin feel taken aback. But, he didn't refuse, undoing his tie and tossing it to the ground, kicking his shoes off in the process. A twinge of pain coursed through him, and pondered on what could've possibly spurred the photographer on to do this. "Please." Jumin felt his heart sink, but made no move to stop. Something felt off about this, almost like it was a farewell. But, Jumin wouldn't control himself. If something was wrong, he wanted to try his best to make it right.

And he was determined to make it right.

Little did he know that no matter how hard he tried to do exactly that, he would wake up alone the next morning, nothing but a vague note and the smell of the older man's Versace cologne to remind the ravenette that last night's events had occurred.

Little did he know that V's impromptu visit was, in fact, a farewell.

#juminv #jihyun kim #jumin han #mysme v #mysme jihyun #mysme jumin #mystic messenger #mm #mystic messenger fanfiction #oneshot #oneshots #drabble #drabbles

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for-ests · 4 years ago

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Waiting Game: Ban x Reader

Summary: friends with benefits can only drag on for so long when both parties have gotten over their past lovers and are faced with death. (honestly don’t know what this drabble is but enjoy the nymph lore)

Warnings: smut, mentions and descriptions of death

Wc: 5, 049

It was entirely impossible to resist Ban’s advances.

It took all of your willpower to keep your distance, to pretend he was nothing more than a friend, and to pretend that each smile he directed your way didn’t pull violently at your heartstrings.

Yet, the two of you danced around the thin and dangerous line of friends with benefits. Ban loved another, and so did you.

The years of pain and suffering you had endured just trying to forget your past lover had worn you down. Your first beloved was dead, leaving a hole in your heart that felt like it would never be repaired.

Your story was far less epic, and far more grim. You were nothing but a forest Nymph, even if you were designated a princess. That title meant nothing when the kingdom you had been expected to rule was wiped off the map by the Holy Knights.

You had nothing to run back to. You and your people scattered desolately across the continent, desperate to cling to any prospering landscapes and vegetation. That was where you were strongest, but even then, it wasn’t much.

That’s why you had immediately devoted yourself to Meliodas’s cause the moment he saved your life. And years later, when Ban found his way back into the group, you felt yourself wanting to devote your heart to him.

Strangely though, devoting your body was easier at first. Pretending that you could never feel love for a person again was easier. You would lose yourself against Ban’s lips, and find an exhilarating high you had never known before.

None of the other sins knew about your late night escapades with Ban. Nobody even suspected that you would be interested in him. How could you, a ‘dainty’ and ‘helpless’ Nymph even handle someone as strong and powerful as Ban?

Truthfully, you had been searching for someone that refused to treat you as if you were fragile. You relished in the toughness of Ban, the complete and utter control he exerted and how he refused to be gentle with you. You were simply attracted to him because he was the only one who put his needs above others.

That was the only reason, right?

It was hard to remain neutral about your relationship with the Fox Sin. He would treat you like you were just a hooker who had found your way into his bed at night, but then treat you like the princess you rightfully were in the morning.

All your life you had been protected, you had been cherished, and you had been taken care of. And Ban, he only took care of himself. At least at the start of his relationship with you. You found immense pleasure in being treated like a rag-doll, you loved the feeling of his fangs scraping your delicate sin. Love bites and bruises were welcomed, as long as they were able to be concealed.

Your secretive relationship with Ban had been going on for months, and now it was starting to take its toll on you. You were starting to slip up every day, making your concern and feelings for him known to others.

It had always been hard to face the reality of your situation. But now that you had found a welcoming group with similar goals, you were starting to deeply care for them. When you stood by their side in battle, the constant fear of death weighed down on your shoulders. You weren’t as strong as them, you weren’t nearly prepared enough. You were weak with how much you cared.

And if they left, you would have nobody. Now, you were vulnerable.

Especially Ban. Watching him fight that day had brought tears to your eyes. The Holy Knights had been keen on ending your life, yet the Fox Sin had sacrificed himself to save you. Even if he was immortal, the pain he must have felt from the blade piercing his heart was unfathomable. Yet, he had done it with no hesitation for you.

Every time you closed your eyes, the scene of his potential death seared through the darkness. You could hardly remember what happened after, but you knew you had screamed at the top of your lungs, sprinting towards him in horror, knees buckling underneath you.

Your comrades had been baffled at your outburst. And you knew if there weren't greater challenges to face, they might have even asked you about it.

Elizabeth had. She caught you right before you closed your bedroom door.

“Are you okay, Y/N?”

Without needing to ask, you knew what she was referring to. You had always kept your cool, you had always been focused in battle no matter whose life was at stake, even your own. Yet your inner turmoil had become too much to conceal.

The panic that was visible in your eyes had caused Elizabeth to shudder. She recognized the look on your face to resemble her own when it came to Meliodas.

“Yeah, I'm alright.” You managed a smile.

The princess sighed. “I’m finding that hard to believe.”

Opening your door further, your shoulders slumped in defeat. “I just had a wakeup call today.” Though your words were short, they came out soft and forthcoming.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Elizabeth tilted her head, fidgeting with her fingers. She was already dressed in her nightgown, all prepared and ready for a peaceful slumber. You knew if you admitted what was racing through your mind, she would also spend all night worrying about it and comforting you.

Yes, you did. You really wanted to, but fatigue was starting to invade your senses. Your love for Ban could be confessed another night.

“I do, Elizabeth.” You exhaled in defeat. She had definitely figured you out. “I’ll talk to you about it later… I just need some sleep right now.”

“I understand-” She reached for your hand and gave it a firm squeeze. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Her kindness astounded you. It astounded you so much that you were left speechless. It reminded you of the kindness your deceased sister used to radiate. The memories overtook you before you could stop them. It had been so long, it had been years since you had felt like this.

Elizabeth released your hand and gave you a weary smile. She was drained as well. The princess turned slowly, and retreated back to her bedroom.

“Thank you.” You called after her. The two of you had a lot more in common than you were willing to admit. You were just frightened of the pain you would feel when she was no longer with you. Everyone you had ever cared about had died. One less person to care about would equal one less heartbreak.

Yet, you were starting to realize your attempt to push others away wasn’t working. Even if you didn't want to care, you still did. There was no escaping that fact.

“Of course, Y/N.” She whispered, then closed her door.

The lamp on your bedside table was dim. For a moment, you stood in the middle of your room. You wanted to sleep, you were incredibly drowsy, yet your brain refused to rest like your body so desperately craved.

You spent a couple minutes reorganizing the few items in your possession. Anything to keep your mind busy, anything to not think about your horrifying past, anything to not think of him.

Him. Ban’s face flashed through your mind. For the first time, Ban was the only man present. Your cravings for your past lover were starting to diminish. You still missed him more than anything, yet you took comfort in the fact that you might be moving on.

He would want you to be happy. Even if your happiness was rooted in another man’s presence.

The clanging of dishes emitted from downstairs, causing you to turn towards the door. The lights from below shone through the wooden panels. Without sparing a second more to think, you reopened your door. The only person awake would be him.

The other sins had retired to bed, leaving Ban to clean up the mess in the kitchen. Knowing you wouldn't be able to sleep unless you talked to him, you tiptoed down the stairs to join him. Your thoughts were in shambles and you were searching for comfort. Temporary or not, you needed something. And Ban was the only one you were comfortable enough to be vulnerable with.

“Hey there.” You whispered once you rounded the stairwell and into the restaurant portion of the building.

Ban glanced over his shoulder and found you waiting patiently. Smirking, he turned to face you fully. “Why are you up? I assume it's not to help me with dishes.”

Briefly, his eyes lingered on your somewhat exposed body. Your bedtime attire, though loose and comfortable, still managed to accentuate your frame.

“What if it is?” You teased, lightheartedness filling your tone at the sight of him smiling upon your arrival. He had probably been expecting it, knowing you.

You had hardly spoken during dinner, all you had mumbled was a thank you before retreating back to your bedroom. Everyone had noticed it was a stark contrast from the heavenly taste his cooking provided, one that you complimented time and time again.

Ban could tell something was wrong when you still seemed distressed despite a full belly.

“Then show me, come help.” He turned back around, calling your bluff.

You obliged without another word. The faucet was streaming with water, and you took charge of drying the dishes after Ban scrubbed them clean.

Sometimes chores was all it took to silence the calamity of your mind. Even if Ban was part of your distress, you found comfort in his company alone.

That was what you had sought for, yet now that you were by his side again, you didn’t know what to say. You didn’t know how to act now that he had seen the desperation in your eyes.

Did he think you were insane for caring about him?

The silence between you and the Fox Sin was deafening. You could tell there was a lot on his mind because of the way his eyebrows were narrowed. If it was even possible, the way he scrubbed the excess food off the plates was frustrated in nature.

Minutes passed, the night stretching on. At this rate you had become too timid to speak, sheepishness gracing your features as you tried to decipher what he was thinking.

Ban handed you a cooking pot, it was large and bulky, causing your hands to touch his as you took it from his grasp. You could feel his gaze on you finally, the intensity of his eyes seeming to bore holes into your skull, threatening to uncover what you were feeling.

“What happened to you today?” He asked.

Sighing, you averted your gaze to the damp towel in your hand. “Nothing Ban, it’s okay.”

Ban paused until you finished drying off the rest of the dishes. He shut the sink off and wiped his hands clean.

“You cried.” He said, as if you didn’t know. “You were afraid.”

It was hard to remember that you had never cried in front of The Sins before. You had been alive for over two hundred years and developed a hardened shell. For decades you hadn’t shed a tear in front of another, yet witnessing Ban risk his life for you caused you to snap.

“I’m always afraid.” You deflected his attempt once again.

“You don’t need to be, Y/N.” His voice resembled tenderness, an emotion he rarely displayed.

Despite the softening of your heart, you glared. “Why?”

“Because I’ll protect you. I can’t die.”

Faltering at his bluntness, you turned away. He had to be toying with you, like he always did, like he always had. “You can still leave, Ban. You can still be taken away from me.”

The anguish in your voice was evident. It was becoming hard to speak, the fear of losing everything you had with him over something as simple as being honest was unbearable.

Suddenly, Ban grasped your shoulders and forced you to face him. He tilted your chin up, his eyes seeming to burn with a passion that surpassed the normal lust you had become accustomed to. “I wouldn’t leave you.”

“Am I supposed to believe that?” You tried desperately to fight off his advances. You didn’t know why, you just didn’t want to admit something you would later regret. Ban didn’t care about anyone but himself. That was what it came down to, you didn’t want to fall in love with someone who would never be able to love you back. “All I am to you is sex. That’s how it’s always been and how it will always be. You can spare the theatrics before they suspect it.”

Now, Ban was starting to unravel the fervent need that had been stirring inside him for months. He wanted you more than anything, he needed you—yet he was fighting against himself. He didn’t deserve you, someone as pure and innocent as yourself had already let him take advantage of your body for far too long.

Yet Ban couldn’t stop. His selfish nature was overpowering, encouraging him to take your heart as well as make it his own. The Fox Sin wanted you all to himself and wouldn’t be able to handle the repercussions that would follow if your head was turned by another.

Ban knew he was going to lose you if he didn’t do anything. And the thought of losing you was something he couldn’t bear. There was still so much you had to offer, so much you had to teach him, so much love you were offering with every longing stare and every touch.

So, he begged. It felt strange to care for someone like this again. He didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know what needed to be said except the obvious truth. “After I took a spear in the chest for you? After you held me in your arms and cried? That’s all you have to say?”

You couldn’t meet his gaze. Tears were threatening to pour over at this point.

Why couldn’t you say it? Why couldn’t you come clean? You were not a prideful person, you were always honest and open. Yet still, as the confession perched on the tip of your tongue, you struggled to even breathe.

After the awkwardness of your previous insult had passed, Ban’s forehead rested against your own, the weight of him sending shivers down to your core. His skin against yours would always be enough, no matter your relationship. Was a wish like that even allowed? Were you allowed to be as greedy as him?

With a quivering lip, you finally met his gaze. Red hues stared back at you with an unmasked intensity, hands finding their way along your jawline, easily cupping your cheeks in their entirety. He smirked when he realized they were burning.

This time, you refused to look away. Say it first. You dared, finally coming to realize that he was thinking the exact same thing as you. Be a man and say it first.

“I love you, Y/N. Is it not obvious?”

Your eyes widened. The way they had when you watched him stumble to the ground, a spear protruding through his chest, the consequence of caring for someone. Everyone you had ever loved met the same fate.

Though you suspected he might, hearing him finally admit it was in its own league of shocking. A tear spilled over your eyelid, and as you struggled to think of something to say, you felt it roll down your cheek. Ban moved his thumb and wiped it away. “Say you love me too. I know you do.” His tone rose with conviction, his grip tightening with each second of silence that passed you by.

“I-I do.” You whimpered, blinking profusely. “I love you too.”

Immediately, the Fox Sin relaxed against you. Before you could make another move your entire body was embraced, engulfed by his own.

Neither of you spoke, both of you wondering if the other was completely over their past lover. You were, and Ban was too. Neither of you would have confessed a lie and proclaimed it the truth.

It had already taken so long to get to this point that there was no use to deny it.

He held onto you until your tears evaporated. Breathing in his scent was enough to pry you from your never-ending thoughts, a scent that was similar to evergreen and hickory. Home. It was your home.

Eventually, like he always did, Ban pulled away and lifted your chin up with his finger. “You’re mine now.”

“I always was.” You revealed, trying to hide the desperation that threatened to pour over. Resistance had always coursed through your veins, with everyone and everything, until you had met Ban. It had taken all of your willpower to conceal your feelings until this moment. Every moment you had spent by yourself was spent wondering if you truly loved him. No matter how much you hated it, every time you came to accept that you were.

And now, all you could think about was consummating this moment with him. You wanted to engrave the yearning you had always felt into his mind, so deeply, so forcefully, that he wouldn’t be able to think of anyone else.

Ban’s throaty chuckle was heavenly. “Don’t say things like that. You are the most interesting, undecipherable woman I’ve ever met.”

“Why are you just telling me this now?” You stared up at him with heavy lidded eyes, skin tingling by his proximity alone.

How could Ban convey the reasonings behind his actions? No one had ever understood his thought process. He hardly did, he would never be able to figure out why he hadn’t told you sooner. The easiest summarization he could think of was that he hadn’t realized his own feelings until it was almost too late. Once he glimpsed the terror in your eyes, when he felt your rejuvenating touch while he was on the verge of death-- was the moment it all made sense. He was fighting for you, instead of him alone. Ban had risked his life for you.

When the spear plunged deep into his chest, knowing you were safe, tranquility had washed over him. “I had to give my all to make you mine.” The Fox Sin said with the utmost honesty.

Indirectly referring to your own actions, Ban’s reasonings made complete sense. But now, that didn’t matter. How you came to finally become his was no longer a question now that your wish had come true.

You loved him. Ban was the reason you were able to love again.

“Give me the rest.” Your once limp hand balled his shirt into a fist, tugging him down and over you. You couldn’t think of anything else to say, all you could do was show him. You would give him your everything from this moment forward.

“As you wish.” He smirked, trying to muster up the persona he had presented to you for months, yet his heart had softened, and his movements became tender. Ban wanted to fuck you until you could hardly stand, but this time he would be there to take care of you afterwards. He would wake up in the morning with you in his arms.

When your lips finally pressed against his, all your previous worries, your fears, and your baggage melted with his touch. Nothing else seemed to matter.

“I'm going to have you right here, right now. No buts.” He craned his neck down, attacking the sensitive, delicate skin of your neck within the next breath.

Your head tossed back with a gasp, allowing him direct access to every inch. One arm looped around your waist, while the other took one sweep of the clutter across the wooden bar. Before you could process what was happening, he had swept you off your feet and onto the countertop. “I don’t care if they hear. I don’t care if we get caught.”

With one swift movement, he gripped the hem of your pajama shirt and tore it in two.

"Ban! please..." You whimpered as the cold air swirled across your normally covered parts, which were quickly devoured by the burning sensation of his mouth. Immediately you succumbed to the lust and couldn’t muster up a protest about the article of clothing he had just destroyed.

Quickly, he tugged off your shorts, almost ripping off your panties as well. You gasped, sliding your hands all over his torso, wanting to feel every inch of him. It had been so long, way too long.

You slipped off his shirt before his hands grasped your hips and pulled your bum to the edge of the bar, your lower portion only remaining in place against his body.

Anticipation was dripping between your thighs as Ban leaned fully over you, flattening your back against the glossed over countertop, kissing you deeper, his tongue swirling forcibly inside your mouth. He fought for dominance, trailing his hands slowly up and down your sides, grasping your skin with need every time a short gasp left your lips.

Begging for more, your legs snaked around his waist, bringing his manhood against your already exposed cunt. He groaned in response, his lips curling against your breasts as he peppered kisses around your hardening buds.

Ban was never this attentive. He hardly paid attention to foreplay, and now that he finally decided to make it all about your pleasure, he was becoming addicted, knowing if you didn’t stop him he would be able to torture you all night.

“Now, Ban.” You pleaded, bringing your hand to smooth through his hair, intertwining your fingers through his locks and forcing him to move his face towards your throbbing cunt.

The Fox Sin removed his lips from your skin to catch his breath, a little surprised himself at how rough and desperate the two of you were acting. His eyes grazed your neck and chest, which were already blossoming red with love bites.

Ban’s warm skin was burning against yours, hands grasping, jaw clenching, as he paused to take in the moment of you sprawled against the bar’s surface. Your hair fanned out over your shoulders, eyes glimmering with an emotion he would have never expected to be directed his way. "Ban..." You purred, propping yourself up on your elbows so you could watch him satisfy you. To tease the Fox Sin further, one of your hands reached up and began to thumb over your nipple, which was still wet with his saliva. You wanted him inside of you so badly, your thighs twitching with urgency. “Please take me.”

"God...You're so sexy." He obeyed your command for the first time, swirling his tongue around your entrance until it was drenched with him. You moaned loudly at the sensation of his tongue swirling inside of you, lips sucking and puckering over your cilt, preparing you for his staggering length, a length that would have you begging on your knees within a moment's notice.

You wanted to be the one to dominate, but the way he had you positioned left no room to protest. With hazy vision and flustered cheeks, all you could think about was him. Heaving out breaths of pleasure from his stimulating actions, you watched Ban slip his belt off, letting his pants fall to the ground and pool around his ankles. Wanting to keep you writhing for more, Ban spread your legs apart and stuck two fingers in, pumping them wildly, while staring deeply into your eyes.

He stroked his length with the other hand, undeniably turned on by the sight of you in such a mess, all for him. Ban could never get tired of the way you squirmed underneath him, begging for more.

"Don’t be too loud." The Fox Sin whispered.

“I c-can’t promise that...The others might hear-” You tried to protest, until you felt his hands curling around your bum.

“Shut up-” He demanded, pulling his fingers out and sticking them inside your mouth. Your back arched against the counter, wishing you could hold onto something for support. “You can’t ignore me all day and expect me not to punish you.”

You nodded in reply as Ban took initiative and curled his hands around your bum until you were utterly submissive in his grip.

You felt more delicate tonight, your senses heightened from the intensity of the previous battle. Your emotions were also swirling, Ban had been in danger before, and the thought of losing him had somehow shattered your heart to an extent you hadn’t expected to be possible.

His large, calloused hands took hold of your hips next, steadying your entrance to align with his cock.

“Be the good girl for me that you always are.”

Squeezing your eyes shut in obedience, Ban hoisted your legs up farther and around his waist. With a snap of his hips, he was buried deep inside your pussy—only groans of ecstasy leaving his lips at the way your walls held onto him so tightly.

You arched your back again in response, arms reaching out for something to grab onto, his cock sheathed deeply inside you, past the places his fingers couldn't reach. Just as you began to gasp from the pain of his size, Ban clamped his hand over your mouth and flattened your body against the counter.

"Mph!" Your cries of pleasure only heard by the man who was causing them. He thrusted in and out quickly, light moans escaping his lips each time he pounded into you.

Your screams were muffled into his hands. "F-fuck... Ban...!" You latched onto him as his thrusts reached deeper, your body shaking from the power. All you could hear was the sound of his skin slapping against yours, remaining quiet, taking all of his strength as each thrust promised him unmatched ecstasy.

Ban looped one of his arms around your torso and pulled you up towards him. Your lips met him in a kiss, one that was sloppy and rough, but one that sent a wave of burning passion down your spine.

“I love you…” You whimpered with each gasp. “I love you Ban, only you can make me feel…”

“I know.” The Fox Sin grunted, sliding you off the bar and into his arms alone.

You gasped, your eyes squeezing shut from the intense amount of pressure. "Oh my god.." you lamented, grasping his shoulders for support. You sunk down on him until it was painful, until you were full with his twitching length.

You were dripping, making it easy for Ban to thrust as softly as he could. He gripped your ass, cursing loudly as you bounced on top of his cock. You moaned his name over and over again, a stream of curses following as your body began to tremble on the verge of your inevitable orgasm.

“That’s it.” Ban encouraged, burying his face into the crook of your neck. “Come all over me like you always want to.”

His pace gradually gained speed, causing you to lose yourself completely. For support, your arms reached up to curl around his neck, one hand finding basis in his hair and the other digging into his shoulder blade.

"Ban!" You whimpered loudly, on the verge of screaming out in pleasure, the motion and the length of his cock sheathed inside you becoming too much to handle in the helpless position.

“I’m cumming…” You threw your head back, choking out the confession as your thighs twitched in response.

"That’s it… you’re so fucking tight." Ban grunted through clenched teeth, sweat beginning to gather on his forehead from his erratic, yet rhythmic movements. Though you had become limp from your orgasm, he continued his pace, his thrusts became harder and faster, both of your moans mixing in with the others as Ban started to reach his high. "Say my name.." The baritone in his voice sent shivers down your spine.

"Ban!" You whined at the feeling of him so deep inside you, each plunge causing your entire body to bounce violently against him. Barely having time to recover from your last orgasm, you felt yourself climbing higher and higher, your walls tightening. "Ban...oh my god!!" You finally yelled, unable to control yourself from the quick pace, causing you to orgasm once again all over his cock.

“Yeah…Fuck yeah.” The fox sin whispered. “I’m gonna fill you up.”

“Please…” You begged, somewhat terrified of the repercussions of letting him finally consummate your relationship. Ban had never released inside of you, but at this point, you were physically hurting for his seed.

“I love you.” Ban moaned, thrusting into you one last time before following through with his promise. You felt his seed shoot through you, causing you to shudder. Your eyes met Ban’s, red eyes rolling back, relief engulfing his expression.

Breathing heavily, Ban set you back against the counter gently. Your legs shook as he slowly pulled his length out, warm liquid immediately dripping from your entrance. A few minutes passed in silence, the two of you reminiscing of the sinful acts that had just taken place.

Neither of you had to outwardly admit that you had just participated in the best sex of your lives.

“Sleep with me tonight.” You said, tiredness washing over you within seconds. Sex with Ban had always been quick and secretive. Now, you wanted to wake up next to him and not regret a single thing. You wanted his arms wrapped around you all night, the safest position you could ever hope for.

Ban bent down and picked up your clothes from the ground. Handing them to you with a smile, he shook his head, managing to laugh. “I was going to whether you asked for it or not.”

“Oh?” You tilted your head, snatching the garments away from him. The Fox Sin had genuinely smiled. You could only remember him doing so a handful of times, most of them masking an alternative motive. But this one was unmasked, truthful, and loving.

Without another word between the two of you, Ban whisked you away in his arms and carried you into his bedroom. And from that night onwards, that's where you found yourself every night.

#ban x reader #ban seven deadly sins #ban seven deadly sins x reader #seven deadly sins #nanatsu no taizai

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theadventuresofamuslimrevert · 3 years ago

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Losing a loved one is one of the major trials of life many of us will encounter. Grief from that loss is a natural reaction that takes a different trajectory for different people. Some people describe grief as a dark fog that is difficult to shake, others speak of the suffocating regret and anxiety that often accompany those feelings, still others speak about grief as waves that rise up and subside at different points.

“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient, Who, when disaster strikes them, say, “Indeed we belong to Allah , and indeed to Him we will return.” Those are the ones upon whom are blessings from their Lord and mercy. And it is those who are the guided.” [Quran; 2:155-157]

Sometimes people are expect to follow a particular timeline of grief, but the reality is that the journey of grief is different for everyone. Counsellors and bereavement supporters often speak about the five stages of grief that were popularized in the famous book On Death and Dying by psychiatrist Elizabeth Kubler-Ross namely: denial (as you begin to come to terms with the reality of the situation, denial begins to fade and difficult feelings may begin to surface), anger/anxiety (anger is the body’s natural reaction to threat and, oftentimes, there is no greater threat than the loss of someone you love or the loss of the way you envisioned life would be. Anger can also feel powerful during times when we feel powerless. You may experience nervousness, heart palpitations, restlessness, irritability, and/or difficulty breathing), bargaining (this stage often includes “If only…” statements due to the feelings of regret that come up with loss. This stage is characterized by an overwhelming desire for life to return to the way it was), depression (you might feel down and cry more often than you usually do. It may also feel like you have less motivation and find less enjoyment in activities you used to love. This stage can feel as though it’ll stretch on forever) and acceptance (it involves accepting the reality that this person is physically gone and that this new reality is the permanent reality. Acceptance does not mean that you’re “ok” with what happened. The loss of someone you love will likely never feel ok. The goal in this stage is to learn how to live with this loss and create a new normal despite the huge piece that is missing). However, recent research and understanding has concluded that grief can be an individualized and unpredictable experience and no two people’s experiences will be the same.

Let us look at some advice in the Quran and Sunnah to help us cope with grief and the loss of a loved one:

Shed tears as much as you want, but don’t let the tongue say what may displease Allah

Our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) experienced grief at many points of his life, often at the loss of loved ones. During these experiences he taught us that grief is a natural emotion and that Allah does not hold us accountable for expressing sadness and pain in a permissible manner. Sadness does not negate the acceptance of Allah’s decree which is the very center of a believer’s journey in grief.

Narrated Anas bin Malik: We went with Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) to the blacksmith Abu Saif, and he was the husband of the wet-nurse of Ibrahim (the son of the Prophet). Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) took Ibrahim and kissed him and smelled him and later we entered Abu Saif’s house and at that time Ibrahim was in his last breaths, and the eyes of Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) (p.b.u.h) started shedding tears. `Abdur Rahman bin `Auf said, “O Allah’s Apostle, even you are weeping!” He said, “O Ibn `Auf, this is mercy.” Then he wept more and said, “The eyes are shedding tears and the heart is grieved, and we will not say except what pleases our Lord, O Ibrahim ! Indeed we are grieved by your separation.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1303]

We see the intensity of these emotions in the Prophet Yaʿqub عليه السلام when he was separated from his son Yusuf عليه السلام and he grieved so deeply that his eyes turned white (it’s said that he lost his sight) due to the extent to which he cried. His intense grief is expressed in the Qur’an (after all those years of losing his son) yet he was called to have beautiful patience (sabrun jameel):

And he turned away from them and said, “Oh, my sorrow over Joseph,” and his eyes became white from grief, for he was a suppressor. [Quran; 12:84]

Accept that all of us belong to Allah and all of us will return to Him

As we see from the hadith above where the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was coping with grief, patience in Islam does not mean that we do not cry and that we do not express our emotions. What is forbidden is wailing and slapping one’s cheeks which was the culture at that time (the Arabs – women in particular – used to scream and wail during funerals or at someone’s death). As the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said the eyes shed tears and the heart is grieved but the tongue only says what is acceptable to Allah.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a believer is that of a fresh tender plant; from whatever direction the wind comes, it bends it, but when the wind becomes quiet, it becomes straight again. Similarly, a believer is afflicted with calamities (but he remains patient till Allah removes his difficulties.) And an impious wicked person is like a pine tree which keeps hard and straight till Allah cuts (breaks) it down when He wishes.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 5644]

Make dua for yourself

As human beings, we attempt to cope with negative emotions in different ways. We often attempt to push away difficult emotions because they make us feel uncomfortable as it’s a painful process to sit with these feelings. We may try to distract ourselves or put on a fake smile. Some may even self-medicate through the use of drugs or alcohol to alleviate the pain they are feeling. When we are unable to grieve fully and an experience becomes a source of trauma, we are thrust into survival mode, which shuts down the executive functioning part of our brain and prevents us from thinking clearly. This is why we may react to situations in unhealthy ways or do things during times of stress that we would not have done during times of ease. This is one reason why some people struggle to worship Allah during times of extreme stress. When the “danger activation center” part of our brain is dominant, there is a decrease in self-awareness, our capacity to self-evaluate, and our ability to establish goals. All of these require advanced thought processes, which are very difficult to sustain during times of extreme stress. In order for any activity to help, our brain needs to register it. Research has shown an association between prayer and the ability to re-engage the “thinking” part of our brains.

Umm Salama, the wife of the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ), reported Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) as saying:If any servant (of Allah) who suffers a calamity says:” We belong to Allah and to Him shall we return; O Allah, reward me for my affliction and give me something better than it in exchange for it,” ‘ Allah will give him reward for affliction, and would give him something better than it in exchange. She (Umm Salama) said: When Abu Salama died. I uttered (these very words) as I was commanded (to do) by the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). So Allah gave me better in exchange than him. i. e. (I was taken as the wife of) the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ). [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 918 b]

When I lost my baby son Hamza, I remember one of my close friends messaged me this dua and reminded me to keep reciting it. I had not really known that dua at that time but I am so grateful for friends who guided me to the right words to say at such a confusing and overwhelming time when I almost lost my faith as a revert.

Stay among people who love you and would support you through this difficult journey

It is quite common to be engulfed by grief with the death of a loved one. However, one must not dwell in it much heaven knows i did but i soon realised this sends an invitation to Shaytan to become your company. Let the death of a loved be a lesson of detaching from Dunya and to hold Allah (glorified and exalted be he) in your heart above all others.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) visited Sa’d bin ‘Ubadah during his illness. He was accompanied by ‘Abdur-Rahman bin ‘Auf, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas and ‘Abdullah bin Mas’ud (May Allah be pleased with them). The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) began to weep. When his Companions saw this, their tears also started flowing. He (ﷺ) said, “Do you not hear, Allah does not punish for the shedding of tears or the grief of the heart, but punishes or bestows mercy for the utterances of this (and he pointed to his tongue).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 925]

Remember that your patience is being rewarded more than you can imagine

These are words you should say even when you feel sad at the memory of a loss you faced in the past or when you miss your loved one or the life you had planned with them.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah says, ‘I have nothing to give but Paradise as a reward to my believer slave, who, if I cause his dear friend (or relative) to die, remains patient (and hopes for Allah’s Reward). [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 6424]

Stay away from questioning Qadr of Allah (asking: why me? or if only!)

Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘A slave (of Allah) shall not believe until he believes in Al-Qadar, its good and its bad, such that he knows that what struck him would not have missed him, and that what missed him would not have struck him.” [Hadith; Tirmidhi 2144]

Often one of the ways, Shaitan attacks us at times of calamity or a loss is to overwhelm us with questions of what if and why me? How did this happen? Would it have been prevented if I had just done this or that or gone to the hospital earlier or taken this or that medical intervention?? I blamed myself for my sons death so much over the last year (he passed away 25/07/2020) but after reading the following in last few weeks I've become to realise there was nothing I could do to prevent it as it was Allah's will.

“The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: ‘The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, although both are good. Strive for that which will benefit you, seek the help of Allah, and do not feel helpless. If anything befalls you, do not say, “if only I had done such and such” rather say “Qaddara Allahu wa ma sha’a fa’ala (Allah has decreed and whatever he wills, He does).” For (saying) ‘If’ opens (the door) to the deeds of Satan.'” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 79]

These are some of the words my midwife told me to say when I heard the news of my baby passing away in my womb after 25weeks of pregnancy I am forever grateful to her for reminding me this at that trying time. Reminding ourselves we all have a path and a time to meet Allah and it is not the time be battling with the what if questions you are bombarded yourself with. I am grateful to Allah (swt) for giving me people in my life who were able to remind me of the right words to say and the right approach at such a difficult time. Remind yourself: whatever happened was decreed by Allah and nothing you or someone else did or did not do could have changed it. Focusing on the factors within your control, rather than on regrets and a desire to return to the less painful past, can help you to get through this stage.

But perhaps you hate a thing and it is good for you; and perhaps you love a thing and it is bad for you. And Allah Knows, while you know not. [Quran; 2:216]

Turning back to our deen and our belief in Qadr is what helped us accept the death as something Allah had decreed at this exact time and this exact situation and there is nothing we could have done to have changed that. Changing the past is not feasible so channeling our energy into something unchangeable is a recipe for intense pain. Instead of “What if…” Focus on “What is…”: The one thing we consistently have within our control is what we choose to do with the present moment. Shifting our focus away from regrets of the past and worries about the future allows us to take advantage of the present moment. Allah (swt) talks about this attitude of remorse in the Quran:

O you who have believed, do not be like those who disbelieved and said about their brothers when they traveled through the land or went out to fight, “If they had been with us, they would not have died or have been killed,” so Allah makes that a regret within their hearts. And it is Allah who gives life and causes death, and Allah is Seeing of what you do. [Quran; 3:156]

Instead, turn to Allah and open your heart to Him

Death can serve as a reminder to those left behind about the temporariness of this life and the importance of working for our next lives. It forces us to reflect on what is meaningful and what is important. Turn to Allah and pour your heart out to Him, talk to Him about your pain, cry out to Him and ask Him to calm your heart and heal your pain. Ask Him to reunite you with your loved one in Jannah. Ask Him to give you strength and peace. When Prophet Yaqub (عَلَيْهِ السَّلَام) cried so much that he lost his eyesight after all those years of losing his son, his elder sons said:

They said, “By Allah , you will not cease remembering Joseph until you become fatally ill or become of those who perish.” He said, “I only complain of my suffering and my grief to Allah , and I know from Allah that which you do not know. O my sons, go and find out about Joseph and his brother and despair not of relief from Allah . Indeed, no one despairs of relief from Allah except the disbelieving people.” [Quran: 12:85-87]

Turn to Allah in sincere dua. No one else can heal your pain and give peace to your heart.

اللَّهُمَّ مُصَرِّفَ الْقُلُوبِ صَرِّفْ قُلُوبَنَا عَلَى طَاعَتِكَ

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: “Verily, the hearts of all the sons of Adam are between the two fingers out of the fingers of the Compassionate Lord as one heart. He turns that to any (direction) He likes. Then Allahs Messenger (ﷺ) said: 0 Allah, the Turner of the hearts, turn our hearts to Thine obedience.” [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 265]

Journal to face and deal with your emotions so you don’t become hopeless

Writing to process your feelings is another helpful technique to help deal with your emotions and your grief ive found this out this week from advice from a sister who lost her father recently. She said that Writing out your thoughts and confusions will help sort them out, journals about your feelings from day to day, use gratitude journalings to focus on the blessings even at such difficult times, write letters to your loved one as if you are talking to them. All of this helps deal with the emotions and grief just as talking or counselling does as well.

“And that to your Lord is the finality. And that it is He who makes laugh and weep.” [Quran; 53:42-43]

Find meaning / gratitude in your life again and create the required changes

Grief expert, David Kessler says, “meaning comes through finding a way to sustain your love for the person after their death while you’re moving forward with your life. Loss is simply what happens to you in life. Meaning is what you make happen.”

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Abbas said: “When a young daughter of the Messenger of Allah was dying, the Messenger of Allah picked her up and held her to his chest, then he put his hand on her, and she died in front of the Messenger of Allah. Umm Ayman wept and the Messenger of Allah said ‘Oh Umm Ayman, do you weep while the Messenger of Allah is with you?’ She said: ‘Why shouldn’t I weep when the Messenger of Allah is weeping.” So the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, I am not weeping. Rather it is compassion.’ Then the Messenger of Allah ﷺ said: ‘The believer is fine whatever the situation; even when his soul is being pulled from his body and he praises Allah, the Mighty and Sublime”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1843]

Finding meaning cannot erase your grief; pain is a natural reaction to intense loss. However, it can help you move forward. The loss of someone or something dear to you can often lead to reevaluating your priorities in life. Allowing this loss to push you toward positive changes in your life is one of the most profound ways of creating meaning. Gratitude is one of the qualities of a believer. Gratitude is tied closely to the concept of patience. The Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) said:

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said: Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Hadith; Sahih Muslim 2999]

Gratitude is also an attitude during adversity. Although difficult to see, there are always blessings that accompany a difficult time. Look for the blessings and ease that Allah has brought with this difficulty. May be things were easier than they could have been, may be there were eases in other areas of your life, may be this test drew you closer to Allah (swt), may be it allowed you to reflect on the reality of your life and allowed you to give more in charity, may be it became a means of wiping away your sins and earning you reward.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man’s child dies, Allah, the Exalted, asks His angels, ‘Have you taken out the life of the child of My slave?’ and they reply in the affirmative. He (SWT) then asks, ‘Have you taken the fruit of his heart?’ and they reply in the affirmative. Thereupon He asks, ‘What did my slave say?’ They say: ‘He praised You and said: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji’un (We belong to Allah and to Him we shall return).’ Allah says: ‘Build a house for my slave in Jannah and name it Baitul-Hamd (the House of Praise).”‘ [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 922]

Know that sadness doesn’t last forever even if the memories do

“For indeed, with hardship ease. Indeed, with hardship ease.” [Quran; 94:6]

Remember this promise of Allah. Remember that every moment of sadness and pain, no matter how overwhelming, is a part of the process of healing. Instead of focusing on the stretch of days ahead of you with this loss feeling like a looming storm cloud over your future, focus on the one step you can take today to get through the day. When experiencing feelings of depression, putting one foot in front of the other can make a huge difference. Get adequate sleep and eat healthy. Your body and well-being are an amānah from Allah that you need to take care of. Find time to decompress, however that might work for you. For some people this may include praying, making dua, reading, art, working out, or engaging in a hobby.

It was narrated that Ibn ‘Umar said: “I was with the Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) and a man from among the Ansar came to him and greeted the Prophet (ﷺ) with Salam. Then he said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which of the believers is best?’ He said: ‘He who has the best manners among them.’ He said: ‘Which of them is wisest?’ He said: ‘The one who remembers death the most and is best in preparing for it. Those are the wisest.’” [Hadith; Ibn Majah 160]

Go through happy memories you experienced with them and remember your loved one in good words

Narrated Abu Al-Aswad: I came to Medina when an epidemic had broken out. While I was sitting with `Umar bin Al-Khattab a funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” And another funeral procession passed by and the people praised the deceased. `Umar said, “It has been affirmed to him.” A third (funeral procession) passed by and the people spoke badly of the deceased. He said, “It has been affirmed to him.” I (Abu Al-Aswad) asked, “O chief of the believers! What has been affirmed?” He replied, “I said the same as the Prophet (ﷺ) had said, that is: if four persons testify the piety of a Muslim, Allah will grant him Paradise.” We asked, “If three persons testify his piety?” He (the Prophet) replied, “Even three.” Then we asked, “If two?” He replied, “Even two.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 1368]

Remembering the happy times you had with your deceased loved ones can be a bittersweet experience. Many will talk about how this can have a healing effect, others mention how it rekindles the pain in their heart. Sometimes different reactions may also depend on where you are on your grief journey. Remembering the good times you had with your loved one can help you in dealing with the grief and with slowly learning to remember them without always feeling the pain of separation. Reminding yourself that you still have hope of reuniting with them in the hereafter is another way to help you process the pain you are feeling.

It was narrated that ‘Aishah said: “Something bad was said in the presence of the Prophet about a person who had died. He said: ‘Do not say anything but good about your dead.”‘ [Hadith; Sunan an-Nasa’i 1935]

Make dua for your loved one and give charity on their behalf

Messenger of Allah(ﷺ) said: “A man will be raised in status in Paradise and will say: ‘Where did this come from?’ And it will be said: ‘From your son’s praying for forgiveness for you.'” [Hadith; Sunan Ibn Majah 3660]

Channel your grief in a productive way and think about what you can do for your loved one now. One of the ways we can benefit our deceased loved ones is by making sincere dua for them. We can also benefit our deceased loved ones by giving charity on their behalf.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased).” [Hadith; Riyad as-Salihin 1383]

Seek help and support others

Seek social support, go to counselling and therapy, talk to friends about how you feel. Attend a bereavement group if you can so you can see how others in your situation are coping. Check Children of Jannah or Eternal Gardens for bereavement support. One major indicator that someone needs professional help is if they demonstrate an impaired ability to function in their day-to-day life with their family, at work, socially, emotionally, and sometimes spiritually. Again, this doesn’t mean that the person is mentally ill, but that they would likely benefit from talking to someone with expertise in the field of mental health.

Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “A Muslim is a brother of another Muslim, so he should not oppress him, nor should he hand him over to an oppressor. Whoever fulfilled the needs of his brother, Allah will fulfill his needs; whoever brought his (Muslim) brother out of a discomfort, Allah will bring him out of the discomforts of the Day of Resurrection, and whoever screened a Muslim, Allah will screen him on the Day of Resurrection.” [Hadith; Sahih al-Bukhari 2442]

The aim of ta’ziyah is to strengthen the broken-hearted and give them hope at a time when their hope may be waning; it is to lighten the load of the bereaved. After the intense sadness of losing someone you care for deeply, you have the unique ability to empathize with the struggles others face in similar circumstances. Here are some things you can do for grieving families: Spend time with them without imposing yourself as a guest and expecting them to host you with food and drink. Offer to help by buying groceries, doing household chores, or watching their children.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said: Prepare food for the family of Ja’far for there came upon them an incident which has engaged them. [Hadith; Sunan Abi Dawud 3132]

Do what helps you through your journey of grief. Remember no two journeys are the same, so listen to your heart and give it what it needs. Sometimes you may need time to be alone, sometimes you may need to be around others you love. Sometimes you may need to talk about them, sometimes you may just need to sit quietly with your own thoughts. May Allah heal your pain, calm your heart and reunite you with your loved one in the hereafter.

I hope this helps who ever needs it see this right now...

Rest in peace my beautiful son Hamza until we meet again in jannah 🤲🤲

#islam #coping with grief #losses #allah #grief/mourning #prophet muhammad #hadith #holy quran

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